Cooking.
Thats the last thing I should be doing.
(Me cooking)
Me: Imma make something YUMMEY ouo
Me: *reads recipe*
Me: easy peasy ouo
Me: okay first add flour and butter ^u^
Me: *tries adding flour but accidentally pours the whole packet of flour*
Me: uh oh
Me:
Me: A little extra, no problem ^^
Me: okay ,now butter ouo
Me: *realises there is no butter in the house*
Me: uh oh
Me: dammit I guess I'll have to make do with cream cheese umu
Me: *mixes in two pounds of cream cheese*
Me:You look beautiful. Imma name you Buttah <3
Me: Okay, it says "simmer butter until melted"
Me: should I just do it with Buttah?
Me: *dumps the whole thing into the pan*
Pan: Tf are you doing?
Me: im cooking OUO
Pan: Well you're doing it wrong.
Me: NO IM NOT I HATE YOU
Me: *Throws pan out the window*
Me: okay lets use the microwave instead OUO
Me: *puts buttah into microwave*
Buttah: *turns brown*
Me: BUTTAH YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MELT NOT BURN, I HATE YOU
Me: *throws buttah out the window*
Me: I want pizza
Me: *googles recipe for pizza*
Me: OML LOOK AT THAT PIZZA
Me: MY FOOD IS GOING TO LOOK THAT BEAUTIFUL-
(Meanwhile, outside the window)
Pan: Why that little-
Buttah: she called me brown
Pan: I remember clearly
Buttah: She called me brown
Pan: Her mom banned her from the kitchen last time cuz she tried to use scissors to cut a potato.
Buttah: She called me brown
Pan: After she broke the scissors, she tried to use a spoon.
Buttah: That racist little-
Pan: She bent the spoon in the weirdest angle and yelled "I BROKE IT"
Buttah: I hate her
Pan: Mom came running in, thinking she broke her finger again
Buttah: she called me beautiful, and then threw me out the window
Pan: And now she uses the kitchen like its no problem
Buttah: Unforgivable, right?
Pan: Yes, totally.
(In kitchen)
Me: I BROKE ANOTHER PAIR OF SCISSORS DAMMIT
Me: STUPID CAN, OPEN UP
Me: OH NO I CUT MY FINGER
Me: BLOOD
me: MOM HELP
*10 minutes later*
Me: I think i broke the microwave
Me: I think i burnt the cheese
Me: I think i burnt the pizza
Me: I think i burnt my hand
Me: I think the kitchen is on fire
Me: I think mom's gonna be mad
Me: HELP
Me: WHY IS THIS THING BEEPING?
Me: WHY IS THE SPOON BENT AGAIN?
Me: I DO NOT WISH TO DIE
Me: fml
Me: fML
Me: FML
Me: I WANT PIZZA
based on a true life incident
(Im not too sure about the pan-buttah convo tho)
Until next time~
•º•º•º•º•º•ºº•ºººº••º•º•º•º•ºª•¶ª§∞¢£™£¢∞§¶¡™£¢∞§¶•ªºœ∑'®†¥¨ˆøåß∂ƒ©˙∆˚¬Ω≈ç√∫˜µ≤≤˚øˆ¨¥†®'∑œåΩ≈∂ƒ©¥¨∆˜∫∆˙©˙√ƒç∂©ßΩç˙¨√¥ˆ¨˙˚∆˜∫ LA
YOU ARE READING
RANT
RandomWarning: The most random shit ever. I just want to be able to say "Guess what, I've written a book"
