Just Some Random Shit

Old me

Okay so all of my new friends know this about me. I don't like opening up about my past. Yeah I'll tell someeeee stuff from 7th grade. But think, no one knows anything about me beyond what I HAVE told you about 7th grade and stuff earlier than that.

It's not like any of its BAD but I just don't like talking about it because it reminds me of when I actually was happy and didn't give a fuck in the world.

Today in therapy, my therapist was making me talk about my old old self and I started talking and it made me go so far into my past that it revealed all this shit I pushed away and I can't stop thinking about old me now.

This is why I pushed everything away. I can't deal with the past. Whenever it comes up like this it freaks me the fuck out to the point I don't know what to fucking do.

IM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE

I'm fucking different than I was then. I just push it away. Maybe it'll go away if I do.

...it's been a year. A year since all this shit changed and I moved and my life just broke and it's making me rethink a lot of shit and I hate this I hate it so much.

Not like anyone cares tho.

Honestly, I just want to tell someone everything. EVERYTHING about me as long as they care and give me the time. I guess you're special if I told you everything. And that's no one so far. Just myself.

This is the shit I think about at the middle of the night