This Heist Can Only Go in One Direction

Chapter Nineteen

Louis POV

It was at that moment, looking into Jasey's eyes as we discussed our tattoos, that I realized I had absolutely no idea what I wanted.

Sure, she may have been talking about tattoos just as I had, but her comment struck much deeper than that.

To be quite honest, I had never felt this indecisive in my life. Everything was easy for me, act on your impulse. It had been an easy decision to agree to Simon's terms on the X Factor. Eleanor was an even easier decision, as was every tattoo I had gotten. I had followed my gut instinct, and I had stuck to making gut decisions ever since then. But at this very minute, I couldn't decipher for the life of me what my gut was telling me to do.

On one hand, I was thinking of Eleanor. Kind, safe, loving Eleanor. We had been together just over a year now, and I loved her immensely. She was able to put up with my endless jokes and shenanigans somehow, and she was easily the most gorgeous girl I've ever met. 

But on the other hand was Jasey. Quirky, witty, attractive in her own rights, Jasey. Harry's not-so-secret celebrity crush, Stella's best friend, Liam's love, Jasey. Survivor, keeper of my attention, easily becoming my closest friend, the one girl I couldn't help but watch and wait with anticipation to see what she'd do next...Jasey. We were so similar, it was impossible to dislike her. And especially after the events of just yesterday, I was beginning to question exactly the type of relationship we had.

I was bothered, she had talked me through it. She was crying, and I had comforted her. I reheated her tea, I had made sure she was okay. That's what best mates did, right? But then the tables were turned, and she was asking me if I was okay. Was I okay? My relationship with my girlfriend certainly wasn't okay, considering our latest phone call. My relationship with the boys was alright, I guess. Jasey and I and that relationship was definitely questionable. I was out in the kitchen with her at odd hours of the night while her boyfriend lay obliviously in bed just a couple rooms down the hall. 

"I'm always going to be here for you." 

I needed to hold her. I knew what my gut was saying then. It was speaking to me, telling me to hold her against me and never let her go. And while she did poorly with speeches, she somehow always managed to say just the right things. When she was in my embrace, I was at ease, and I felt I truly would be okay. So I didn't let go. I held her until she fell asleep, and then for a bit longer. At a bit past seven, I finally picked her up and took her to bed. Against everything my gut was screaming at me, I put her in bed with Liam. He was sound asleep, yet immediately gravitated towards her as soon as the bed dipped in from her weight. I had barely gotten the covers over her before he had his arms around her, as if he were pulled to her by some magnetic force.

And then I knew she could never truly be mine. I knew she belonged with Liam, simply based on even how they slept together. They were meant to be. Just as Niall and Stella had accidentally stumbled across their soul mates in the bank that day, so had Liam and Jasey.

And I also knew that no matter how many times I told it no, my gut would always be telling me, urging me, to run after her.