let's write stories at 5am

'Bullying' and general depression

There's one thing that annoys me more than anything - people who think they're being bullied. If they're actually being bullied, that makes me mad at the bully, because no-one deserves to be treated that way. However, if they're not really being bullied, that makes me even more mad.

I know how it feels to be bullied. Year 8/7th grade was the worst school year of my life. I was laughed at by people I thought were my friends. I was accused of petty theft, and everyone believed it. I was physically bullied as well as emotionally bullied. There was nothing I could do. I tried to ignore it, but that changed nothing. Telling an adult would only earn me a reputation of being a snake, grass, dob, tell-tale, etc...

And yet, I still hear people whining about being bullied. How? Someone jokingly called them an idiot or something.

Notice:

THIS.

ISN'T.

BULLYING.

Bullying is pretty much when the bully detests you with all their miserable heart, and does anything to make your life a living hell. Hell, I even heard a friend of mine say that I was bullying them because I was spamming them.

~The rant about bullying pretty much ends here. It gets kinda depressing after this point. Be warned~

Let me tell you, if you've got friends, you're pretty well off. I'm bipolar, sadistic, introverted - it's no surprise that I have next to no friends. Connections with my friends from my old school have gradually died away. I go to a private school with people from all over the country, so in the holidays, I find myself alone more often than not.

I'm getting off topic. Point is, don't whinge about being bullied, when in reality, people are just such good friends with you that they almost playfully insult you.

When you get bullied by your own freakin' family, then you know how it feels. I've cried myself to sleep many-a-night. I'm an emotional rollercoaster; simple things can make me plunge into the deepest depression.

But what's worst is that I don't ever spread my problems to other people. I keep everything to myself. If I get hurt, I simply tell people I'm fine. If I get bullied, I cry - but quietly, so that I don't disturb anyone.

This builds up stress. The pressure coming from all sides just keeps building and building, and even though I want to scream, I can't. People will get annoyed.

And that's the reason I ran away from home the other day. I just couldn't take it anymore. I finally snapped, taking nothing but my coat and boots with me. I didn't take my money, my phone, nothing. It was a spontaneous thing. I'd thought of running away before, but I always chickened out at the last moment. Yet this time, I had no regrets. I just walked away.

When I was out there, I sang a song to myself. 'Gypsy Bard' by Griffinilla/Sherclop Pones. And although it initially only seemed like a catchy tune, I thought about the lyrics.

When you're rife with devestation

There's a simple explanation

You're a toymaker's creation

Trapped inside a crystal ball

And whichever way he tilts it

Know that we must be resilient

We won't let them break our spirits

As we sing our silly song

That first verse reminded me of myself, in sense. Tumbling inside a crystal ball, being turned every which way, never getting a rest. But I had to be resilient. I had to tolerate it, had to realise that I actually had it pretty good. The deeper meaning behind them made me turn back home.

That was when I realised that there will always be people who care for you, love you. My parents were so relieved to see me again. After all I'd been through, after all the bullying, hate and misery sent my way, I felt happy.

If I can do this even through all the hard times I've been put through, so can you. I've deviated from the original point of bullying, but COME ON. People get depressed from 'bullying', but if I can still be happy, so can you.