Mystery Theater

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"My friend and I go to a show, where we meet a famous comedian

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"My friend and I go to a show, where we meet a famous comedian. He's pretty nice and ends up buying us drinks. A few days later, he finds me online and asks me out. We meet at this venue and have a good time, and shortly after that, he invites me over to his place for a drink. I get to his house, and he looks really out of it: His eyes are bloodshot, and he's extremely talkative, maybe even manic. He makes me watch  and starts doing Mystery Science Theater 3000-style commentary, which isn't at all funny. Then, he starts rapping and wants me to meet 'Kevin,' his ventriloquist dummy. He can't find 'Kevin' and starts freaking out. Then he starts crying, saying he misses his parents and his ex-wife, who is a well-known actress. Finally, he passes out, so I call for an Uber. I go outside, and I realize I'm locked in...I can't figure out how to open the gate! The Uber driver sees me freaking out and says to just climb over the fence and he would catch me. I ended up doing just that, in high heels and all."

-Sasha, 29

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