glimpse.

May 10

So I followed the instructions.
All I have to do now is open the door.
I open the door, revealing Michael, in the hospital bed. My heart dropped to see his condition.
His bags underneath his eyes were dark. His skin was awfully pale. He wore a beanie, but what it looked like to me was his hair. Completely gone.

"Michael... What is... This?" My eyes were ready to release my tears. I looked at how skinny and vulnerable he was.

"It wasn't my mother that was sick. It was me. The chemo yeah it killed my hair. Yes, I have Leukaemia. I stop everything. I'm done fighting to live. I don't have much time left. I have 6 more days." Michael explains.

There it was my flow of tears. I went to sit down by him. I lay my head on his bed, softly crying.

"I told you not to cry, you're going to make me cry." He put his hands on my hair and slowly brushed it.

"This was your secret? Michael. I could never hate you. I love you." I still cry into the bed.

"I love you too. But you know, I won't be here. But I will forever be there in your heart."

I look up to see Michael smile with tears in corner of his eyes.

" I will visit everyday."
I gently speak.

"You know, you don't have to." He took his hands and rub on my tears.

"I will take care of you. I will make sure you are loved." I place my hands on his hands.

All he did was smile and nodded.

We stayed there for five minutes just acknowledging each other's presence.

I know I'm not allowed to say it out loud. And maybe just think to myself. I really didn't want to let   him go. It's  all just a shock for me, I was mad at him for not telling me for such a long time. But,I can't stay mad at him, because I love him. I don't know what I would do without him. I spent most of my life doing school and I finished school.  I didn't have a goal in life nothing interested me.  all I did was say some guys around. All I did was wait for a guy. At least that's what I remember but from what I know I think it there was a period in my life where I did wanted to do something. I can't remember that period. I know I should just continue School, but what  can I do,  I studied  over summer, went to summer school, got credits to graduate early.   Because all I wanted to do was wait for Michael. I wanted to keep myself busy, so that's what I did. I went to cram school, did extra credits just to graduate. I don't even remember what I did.  But I finished and I have no goal. So my life just became something for Michael.  That's what my heart wanted to do, just be with Michael. But now, he's going to be gone. I wouldn't have a purpose. I wouldn't know what to do in life.

"Mam, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. He needs his check up." The nurse comes in with a tray of tools and pills.

I got up then, and left Michael. Look back at him, and he just smiles.