Who You Are

Chapter 18: Letting Go

" My mom started to loose her mind when my dad died. She loved him even tho he abused her. Crazy. She started leaving me home alone, then she started leaving her 'boyfriends' at home with me to babysit, I was only five but I knew what was up." He sighed before he continued

" My mom..she started prostituting to pay the rent. She would come home with bruises everywhere and always drunk. It's still like this, you just witnessed the shit. She started leaving me with this one nigga. I wish I knew his name because I would find his ass and fuck him up" he paused and looked at me

" Don't tell no one this, okay?" I nodded my head

" One day, I came home from the fifth grade and the nigga started rubbing on my leg and shit. I didn't know what to do, I just stood there looking stupid. He pulled my pants down. I just froze up like a dumb ass. I let him do that shit to me man.,My ma allowed that nigga to do that!" He yelled a vein popped out of his neck. I have never seen him like this

" When she came home I told her and that bitch told me that I deserved the shit, what the fuck did I do to deserve that shit! What did I do? He came back the next day and did the same thing to me! My ma didn't do shit about it!"

" She came home and kissed him on his lips then pushed me down to the ground. After she went upstairs, he stood there laughing at me. I was a fucking joke!"

" I try to get as many girls as I can so I can drown out that nigga. It works for awhile then the thought comes back, that nigga ruined my fucking life!" He covered his face by lowering it

" He fucked with my head man. After a while I thought that I was gay because I kept on thinking about what he did to me and I didn't stop thinking about what he did, the nasty ass shit he did to me" I tried to comfort him by rubbing his shoulder but he almost pushed me off the bed

" Don't touch me!" He voice echoed. He walked towards the door and punched a hole through it. He let out a loud shout before he walked out and went into the bathroom.

Tears just slid out of my eyes as I heard things being thrown. I grabbed my phone and ran downstairs

" What the fuck is going on up there" Savannah asked

" I just wanna leave" My voice was shaky. She grabbed her water bottle and we left.

" Are you okay? You're shaking and crying like something happened to you" Savannah wiped my tears off of my cheek

" It's nothing, I'm okay" I started the car up and drove home

She followed me up to my room, trying to find out what's wrong but I just cried. I jumped in my bed and stuffed my face into my pillow and let my sobs out. Savannah rubbed my back as I cry.

I can't believe he's been through all of that. It's just sad.

The Next Day
Savannah's 2nd Day

" You alright Justine?" Savannah asked as I picked out my outfit

" Yeah" I said softly

" You've been quiet all morning"

" Yeah, I know" I pulled out my kimono and put it to the side