Not Mine

Chapter V

If it were up to Tobias he would boycott all conversations until they started to become about Carter, and what they were doing about her situation. If it was up to Tobias, he would sit in solitary until he could be with his mate. His chest ached and he felt like he was going to stop existing at any moment. He felt weaker than he had ever felt in his entire life, and not doing anything was destroying his sanity. She appeared in his dreams and thoughts, twisting the knife of despair he already felt in his heart. Tobias wondered if Carter felt the same pain, and it hurt him to think of her being in such agony...If it were up to him, he wouldn't eat, sleep or talk until he could be with her again. However, it wasn't up to him. Living under Jocline Miller's roof made it impossible to 'sulk on his own' as she had put it. She made sure there was always someone around to encourage him in to activities and there was always plenty of food to guilt him into eating. Since the beginning of his stay at the Miller's home, he hadn't gotten much time to himself. The people occupying his time ranged from Carter's cousins and uncles, who still seemed to be hazing him, to her best girlfriends and Patrick and his friends. He had become rather good friends with the Alpha's son, and quickly grew popular with Louis and one of the Deltas' son, Jasper. Every time he opened a door, there was someone in the next room wanting to talk to him. He hated it, but deep down was very grateful.

All the connections Tobias was making seemed to be orchestrated by Jocline. Every moment seemed to be strategically planned for him. Tobias wondered if maybe the distraction plan was more for her than it was for him, because when he was surrounded by people so was she. She could invest her time in a project, and he was glad to help give her the chance. That's why he never asked for his space or complained. When he heard her crying at night, when no one else was around, he became renewed in his determination to protect her. He would walk into the kitchen every morning, while she was already hard at work trying to go on with life, and he would talk to her for almost an hour because he knew that she missed her daughter just as much as he missed his mate, regardless of the strong façade she tried to maintain.

From their first moments together, Tobias knew that Jocline Miller was one of the kindest women he would ever have the honour of meeting. She was broken by the loss of her only child, but regardless, she remained good and compassionate for others, especially Tobias. She already treated him like her son. Tobias had always wondered what that was like. He hadn't known his mother for very long at all, all he got was 7 years with her, and he couldn't remember what it meant to have a mother. All of his mother's friends, and the older pack members would always tell him what an incredible woman she was. His father used to brag about how strong she was too. Tobias knew it, how else would she had survived giving birth to two werewolves and a 9-year marriage with his father. No words that people spoke to him about her ever mattered though, because despite her kindness, or intelligence or her bravery and strength, nothing held her from death after that horrible car crash about a month after Tobias's 7th birthday. She stood no chance against the truck that threw her off the road and killed her instantly. He had foggy memories of a caring mother and he liked to imagine she had been a kind woman like Jocline, but in truth, he didn't know anything about her. His father stolen all of his time away, by starting training him to be a Beta when he had turned 6. Tobias never had time to be a child or a son, because Killian kept him busy with training and never-ending teaching moments. Tobias regretted every minute of his childhood ignorance, when he took having a mother for granted... He didn't see much change in his father after she died. Killian Smith had always been a hard-ass drill sergeant, and remained so. There were only few times, where Tobias saw flickers of change in his father, that told him that his father missed his mother as much as he missed her.

Tobias hadn't been back down to see his father since the first time. He knew that his father was furious at him and was still bound to be, but he was determined to go soon. There was so much to talk about, and he had yet to tell him that Phillip had been killed. He knew he would find himself going back down there soon. He looked around at Carter's friends snuggling on blankets around the small living room. He knew that he was finally home in Carter's pack; now he just had to convince his father that. Tobias had been thinking a lot about it recently, about what he would do if his father didn't change his mind. When he talked to Patrick about it, the Alpha's son had told him that they would only hold him in the cell until Carter was returned. They hadn't discussed exactly how long that would be, because no one knew, but still Patrick advised that he come to a decision on what his father's refusal would mean for him and his father. Being Carter's future Father-in-Law, they weren't pressing charges on Killian for kidnapping, but he would have to be banished from their land if he didn't want to join the pack. As long as he didn't act like a violent asshole, and as long as he wanted to, the pack would let him stay and join the ranks. That was the only problem. Tobias, from their last conversation, was pretty sure his stubborn father wasn't going to change his mind, and would continue to be a violent asshole. But, he had also decided that if Killian's mind really couldn't be changed, then his father was going to go home alone. Tobias was going to join the Rainlander Pine Pack, with or without his family. He could imagine his future with Carter, here, with her family and friends. He could see her marrying him and raising kids with him. He could see them sitting on this couch and cuddling as they watched movies or gathered around a fire in winter. He could see-