Not Mine

Chapter I

Carter blinked. She tried to dismiss the buzzing sound in her ears and the sudden sickness that overcame her, but the room began to rock and the twisting in her stomach just would not stop. She had to have misheard him, but her heart was sinking.

"Sorry, what did you say...?" Carter asked, her body paralysed. She was tired and stressed, and she didn't hear him right...she couldn't have. Her father wasn't dead.

"Carter, your father died in the fighting. I am truly sorry, I-" The Alpha sighed but Carter interrupted him.

"This is a sick joke, Alpha Jonas!" Carter growled, digging her nails into the bed. He was being so cruel. It had to be a joke... it couldn't be real. Carter tears stung her eyes. No matter how hard she tried to suppress them, she couldn't shake the cold voices in the back of her mind, the ones reinforcing his words and twisting scenes together where she saw her dad being ripped to shreds... just like Phillip. The tears began to stream down her flushed cheeks, and the harsh voices in her head grew louder and hate and doubt filled her mind. Suddenly it was all too real. The man who raised her had been killed... The man who used to pick her up when she fell over, the man who had helped her take revenge on her cousins when they were too rough, the man who taught her everything and loved her without limitation, was gone. Carter would never see him again.

Sobs shook her and she could no longer control the voices in her mind and an overwhelming grief flooded her body.

"It's no joke, Carter... I am truly, truly sorry for your loss." The Alpha muttered, placing a hand on her shoulder. He was trying to comfort her, but his touch and his words tasted like poison in her mouth. The consoling tone in his voice only sounded mocking to her. She hit his hand away and pushed herself out of bed. She suddenly couldn't breathe; she didn't remember how. The ache in her heart was becoming too much. Her legs gave out from under her, and she crashed against a machine, gasping for breath.

Carter dug her palms into the marble floor, trying to feel something solid and whole, and let the cold stone give her meaning of anything. She felt a hand land on her back, but she was way past gentle words and pity. The touch made something within her snap. Suddenly she was transformed, absolute distress turned to vicious fury. She hated Jonas, she hated his pack, she hated Phillip and she hated the world. She hated herself most of all. Carter let her family and friends fight for her, while she sat back like a damsel. She didn't deserve their love and protection. The anger grew in her chest, burning in her lungs as she asked herself who else had been ripped from this earth because of her? How many friends and neighbours had lost someone because of her?

"Carter, I understand you need a moment to get around this... but you need to calm down." The Alpha ordered, but Carter couldn't just 'calm down'.

Her head snapped back and she looked over her shoulder at the Alpha towering over her. An image flashed in her mind, of Phillip towering over her. She felt another surge of anger, after which, she could no longer control her own body. She phased before another thought crossed her mind. Jonas took a step back and watched her for a few seconds before pressing a button on the wall and requesting that nurse Helen brought her some new clothes. Carter howled loudly, in a desperate cry for her family. Her mother was alone now... and it was all her fault. Jonas sighed and then walked towards the door.

"I'll let you have some time to yourself, when you have calmed down we will talk some more." He called over his shoulder before he slipped out the door. Carter spun around and started attacking the machines, the walls and the furniture. Once everything was broken and in tatters she bayed again. She hated it here. She needed to go home. Her ears twitched as she heard nurse Helen coming back towards the room. She opened the door with some folded clothes in her arms and screamed when Carter leapt at her. She fell to the ground as Carter leapt over her, through the doorway and already so much closer to her family. She needed to be there with them, and if that meant she had to face whatever her Alpha and Alpha Jonas were worried about, the 'risks', she would face them. Carter would deal with anything if it came to it, but she was going home.