Not Mine

Chapter VII

Carter didn't know where she was. She had blindly run through the many twisting corridors, in a desperate attempt to get away from that party. She hadn't attempted to retrace her steps to the best of her ability or logically try to get back to the elevator; she hadn't even tried. She just ran. Carter, thoroughly confused, came to a stop after she was able to calm herself down a little. She stopped in a crossroad and turned around whilst trying to collect herself. That forceful kiss flashed through her mind and she found herself bent over and dry heaving. She was repulsed with herself and had no idea why. Carter couldn't breathe properly, her heart was beating wildly and she was hopelessly lost. Her thoughts were a mess as she looked around. She had no idea how to get back to her apartment and she didn't want to end up back where she had just been. She bit her lip, hard, and ran a hand through her hair as tears streamed down her cheeks. Everything hit her quickly. She couldn't handle herself anymore, she was so damn confused. She fell against the wall and slide down into a sitting position. Nothing was making sense, absolutely nothing. She felt uncomfortable, and stressed. The air was unclean, and polluted with smells. She didn't know anyone and it felt wrong. The only things that felt right was her name and the alarmed feeling that told her everything was wrong. She tucked her knees under her chin and let the tears fall.

She heard the person running towards her before she saw him. Jake appeared from a branching corridor a minute later and then ran over. He looked stressed as he pulled his hair and dropped to his knees before her.

"What happened? What's the matter?" Jake panted, as he looked around.

"I hate this Jake, nothing is right." Carter whispered through her tears.

"Carter, what happened?" He asked again, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"It was too much, the party, the people...and Damien... I'm not ready! How could I be ready? I don't know anything! Everyone expects me to know them and then they are so disappointed that I don't. Oh goddess Jake! Damien said we were talking about our future. He said he wanted to propose! I can't handle that! I don't know him! I don't know anything! I woke up and I didn't know my own name! I can't marry him! And he was so upset and then he was really mad.. I couldn't stay with him...I couldn't be with him..."

"You broke up with him?" Jake asked slowly. Carter nodded and then buried her face into her hands.

"Shit... No wonder he was so upset... Damn Carter... I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. And I should have known you weren't ready! I was just hoping that seeing some friendly faces would help you remember... I didn't mean to force you into such a horrible position... That wasn't fair. I shouldn't have done that. I should have thought it through, and I didn't and I am so sorry." He apologised, tears welling up in his eyes too as he looked at Carter. He leaned forward and put his arms around her. She was still as she cried onto his shoulder. She felt an ache in her heart and it was becoming harder and harder to deal with. Jake didn't let go as he let her cry it out. He bit his lip and stroked her back gently and occasionally whispering encouraging words. Her body trembled against him as she slowly melted into his embrace. They sat there for a while before Jake gently pulled back.

"We should take you home. You have had a really long day... A really stressful day. I am really sorry Carter. I feel like the biggest dick..." he sighed.

Carter couldn't find words; she was in such despair. He amnesia was ruining everyone's lives and there was nothing she could do but suffer through it. She nodded slightly and Jake helped her up onto her feet. Carter folded her arms and Jake started leading her back slowly.

"You got yourself pretty tangled up into these corridors." Jake chuckled, nudging her gently and trying to undo the thick tense in the air. Carter couldn't bring herself to laugh, everything just hurt so much. She felt like the world was crashing down around her. She felt forsaken by the goddess. She felt the world on her shoulders. Carter felt as if it were never going to be better and she would feel this gripping sadness forever.