CALORIES

Day One

It's 01.08am and I can't stop thinking about my day and how much I have eaten. I am disgusted by it but according to my friend I haven't eaten a lot at all, I'm sure she's only saying that to be kind. I am on my period so I do blame that because normally I do anytime to avoid food but today I've eaten a lot. It wasn't like a binge I think I've only ever binged once and I hated it and I could never do it again. Today I had cereal, then a biscuit, a mini scone because my mum made them and then I had a sandwich. I feel sick just thinking about it and I don't have any energy to workout to burn it off. Normally I will make sure I do but tonight I can't plus my mum
is sleeping and I would wake
her. Tomorrow I will be trying to avoid food and if the only time I will eat is if my mum makes me and I will definitely be burning it off. I am currently 103lbs and I am so ashamed of that.
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A/N
In terms of everything I am
saying it is how I feel about myself personally. I am
completely aware and I agree that being 103lbs is a perfectly normal and healthy weight and it is but for me I am not happy with myself being this weight and I will explain why that is.
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I hate the way I look. There is not one thing I like about myself. My thighs are too big, my stomach isn't flat enough, my arms are chubby everything is just fat and I will get down to my goal weight. A few of my friends know about how I feel and how treat myself and they say I need to go see a doctor but that isn't an option. I have always had issues with how I look and my appearance so it's nothing new to deal with but its still extremely difficult and exhausting. I am not too good at describing things or how I feel but I'm definitely trying.
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A/N
I will not regularly saying my calories intake or my workout routines as I do not want to encourage others to do what I am doing as its not safe and very unhealthy and all round horrible. I may sometimes if I want to and I feel it's necessary but not on a regular basis.
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