CALORIES

August 23

Things have been horrible.
So much has happened and I don't even have the energy to get into it. I've put on so so much weight over the past month but luckily I lost it all and I'm still only 4 pounds away from my target weight.

Thank god school has started back I hate everything about it but the one and only good thing about it is I can resist and no one will notice, actually my friend asks why I haven't eaten but I just say I'm not hungry because even without restricting I have a very small appetite so no one thinks anything of it.

Today I ate dinner and some frozen grapes but I not ate those things because my mum gave me them and she was talking so much I could leave to put them in the bin without eating them but it's okay because tomorrow I won't eat anything and then in Thursday I won't eat anything unless I can't get out of dinner but even then I will only eat a few fork fills of food and then say I'm not hungry.

I only ever eat dinner and even then if I can get out of it and I try so hard to but normally I can't but if I can I will.

Today I wore a jumper to try and cover myself up because I am disgusted about how big I am but it only made me look bigger because I tucked it into my skirt and I looked so bumpy and awful so I tried to keep my school blazer on most of the day but it was so uncomfortable and it's way too big so I struggled a lot.

I decided to try this challenge, I weighed myself on Sunday and I'm not going to weigh myself until next Sunday to see what changed in a week without checking every opportunity. It's only Tuesday just now and I'm finding it extremely difficult I'm used to weighing myself at least five times a day and the very very least so not being able to do it at all is hard.

I'm really struggling at the moment with everything like school and family and friends. School is always awful and it's so stressful I've only been back five days and I'm always having to study for exams. Oh I got my exam results back and I was happy with most but I was really embarrassed with one because all my friends got a B and I got a D but I had told them I was really bad at it but it's still embarrassing. I also expect too much from my friends but let's not get into that.

I'm going to go to sleep because I am exhausted and have no energy left for today.