Forced Happiness

Chapter 1 (EDITED)

A/N

Hey this is Katelyn and this is my first story on Wattpad.  In a few seconds,  I'll be putting this story out there, and to be honest, I'm terrified.  Only two people have ever read this story, and I've been pouring my heart and soul into it for over a year.  I'm hoping ya'll will like it.  Also, any critique or comments would be appreciated.  If you like please vote, comment, or fan.  So here goes, time to bite the bullet . :o  PLEASE EXCUSE ANY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, I'M IN THE PROCESS OF EDITING.

New A/N

It's now been over 5 years since I originally wrote this and shared it with all of you.  I'm amazed and completely astounded by the response it's gained.  I never expected anyone to actually read it, I was more of trying to work on actually sharing my writings for the first time ever.  It's gained over 10k reads despite my terrible update schedule and the fact that though I've had it finished I was never satisfied enough to release it completely.  I've been working for several months to rectify this and I hope you'll see how far I've come.  To everyone who's reading this, thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this incredible journey.  It means more to me than you'll ever know.

I look out into the night, seeing the tree with a silent face carved into the knothole.  She stares at me seeming to know my secret just as everyone else soon will.  I sigh yet again and try to recount in vain knowing the truth won't have changed no matter how much I wish it would.  I wonder how this even came to be, it's not like I put myself in situations where these things happen or so I'd thought.  I pray for the thousandth time, wondering why God seems to take no notice.  It worries me to no end as I pace throughout the empty house, glad to have this night alone.

My memory serves me well as I think back to that night, the night that changed everything.  I was home alone once again, walking along the neighborhood in the moonlight, lost in thought as usual when I noticed a sudden movement in the nearby brush.  I discounted it as the wind or an animal.  Oh, how I regret that assumption now, if only I'd scurried back to the safety of my home.  It wasn't to be so.

I remember waking confused and unafraid in the darkness of an unfamiliar place. I was still groggy from whatever drugs he'd used though I didn't realize it at the time.  Suddenly fragments begin to come back to me.  Having a rough cloth shoved in my face.   Being carried through the woods by a stranger.  Thrown onto the soft surface of a bed and trying to fight to no avail.  And all the things he did while I was helpless to resist.  I start to cry softly and hear a rustling movement next to me.  He didn't seem perturbed in the slightest but moved on to make the threat, his sharp knife glinting in the darkness.  I honestly thought he was going to kill me, but to my surprise he lifted me to my feet and used the knife to cut me free of the tight ropes I'd been restrained with.  The rest is a blur of me rushing through the trees to get home. I arrived to discover it was still early yet and nothing was amiss in the slightest although my world was crumbing around me.  I quickly got into the shower, scrubbing my bruised body raw, trying to erase the feeling of his hands on me.  My tears went down the drain with my hope.  I wondered if he would follow through with his threat.  Now I know I must break my unspoken agreement because I can't keep quiet any longer.

I know I should've told someone, gone to the cops, done anything but what he wanted.  It was just easier not to when all I wanted to do was forget, not that it did any good.  I felt that listening to him was the best option considering the alternative was too bad to consider.  I check the locks again and feel fear in the pit of my stomach as I wait for them to come home and the reactions that would follow.  I wonder if they will believe me or think the worst like everyone else will.  Matt pops into my mind but I push the thoughts of him aside as I hear the telltale crunching of gravel as they pull into the driveway. 

I hear the carefree laughter as my brother says something funny.  Mom had gone to pick him up from college for some break he had.  All are blissfully ignorant of what's about to come.  Mom walks in and I can't hold back my tears any longer.  I begin to cry uncontrollably, managing somehow to convey through the sobs wracking my body that I needed to speak to hear alone. 

"Do you remember that night you actually went out with your friends for once and stayed out most of the night?" 

She nods.

"And the crazy guy everyone always talks about that you told me to stay away from?"

Her brown eyes widen with worry and she tears up.

"I went for a walk and he snug up on me and drugged me somehow."

Now there are two hysterical women instead of one.

"He took me to his house and--"

I stop short, unable to continue and say it aloud for the first time crying even harder than I thought possible.

Finally, I say the words I've so dreaded, "I'm pregnant."

Mom stands there frozen for half a second then collapses onto the couch with a small gasp. 
Soon Joel is supporting most of her weight as we get in the car to go to the ER.  He looks very confused the whole time.  Soon we're checked in and my worst fears are confirmed.  They say nothing to my family until after the police come for a "preliminary report".  I'm told they'll be in touch.  The nurse gives me some phone numbers, "in case I need to talk to someone" but I just feel numb.  I just nod mutely not hearing her words.  Meanwhile Mom seems even more distraught than me.  I think they gave her some kind of medicine to calm her down.  Joel's in the hallway speaking angrily to a doctor.  When he returns just sits next to me with his jaw clenched and expression pained.

No one bothers breaking the silence on the way home and in a way I'm glad.  As soon as the car stops I run to the safety of my bed and bury my head in the pillow.  I hear the door creak slightly and someone settles on the bed next to me.  I feel my brothers hands rubbing my back gently as I drift off to a sleep filled with more nightmares.