Forced Happiness

Chapter 6 (EDITED)

The next morning, I sneak out of bed careful not  to wake Matt who's sprawled on his side sound asleep. I get busy in the kitchen. As soon as the smell of bacon fills the air, he wanders in and sleepily smiles at me making my heart melt just like when we first met all those years ago. I hand him a plate full of steaming eggs, bacon, and toast and we sit down to eat without saying a word.

Finally, I speak up, "Do you really think I can do this?".

"Baby there isn't a doubt in my mind. And besides it's not gonna just be you. You really think me, your mom, and Joel are gonna let you do this by yourself?".

I reach over and hug him tightly as he kisses the top of my head. He regretfully pulls away and gets ready to leave for work. I clean up the mess I made of the kitchen by cooking as he tells me bye. I can tell by his face that he longs to stay and say more, but he would never shrink his responsibilities.
A few minutes after he leaves I walk over to see Mom. We basically forced Joel to go finish out his classes before transferring, so he's back at his university. Finally. I find her drinking her coffee and she eagerly reaches around to hug me. Not beating around the bush, I ask her the same question I'd asked Matt.

"Do I look old enough to be a grandma?" She cocks an eyebrow.

That's enough to break the ice and laugh together before her face finally gives away her fears.

"They've got a court date."

The laughter drains from my face immediately. "So soon?"

She nods. My legs seem to go numb and I have to sit down.

"How am I supposed to look him in the eye and know he did all this to me and doesn't care about any of it?"

Mom doesn't say anything; there's not much she could say to that. She just sits down beside me and looks just as distraught as I feel. The terror gnaws at my chest but I take a deep breath and remember:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage do not be afraid nor dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

The soothing calm fills me as Mom ushers me into the car and to the major law firm in the next town over.

The lawyer sits behind a giant desks and explains how the proceedings will likely play out.

"Have you considered getting rid of the...erm...problem?" he glances down.

"Excuse me? The only problem here is you!"

I see red and we leave deciding to find another way. After a few frustrated phone calls we find someone willing to take my case pro bono and set up a meeting with him for next week.

Mom decides what I need is shopping. I groan I nternally but know better than to argue when it comes to this. It's still too early to buy very much, but she ensures I see everything even remotely baby related. I'm overwhelmed by what it takes just for one baby let alone two. Cribs and changing tables. Bottles and bassinets. Double strollers. The list goes on and on.

When we make it to the car seats I realize something. "Uh, Mom? How are we supposed to fit two babies in Matt's truck?"

She just nods and tackles a new avenue of shopping. We go home and begin our search through the classifieds looking for something that has a backseat instead of toolbox and bed. We eventually find an older car that looks promise of. It's been well taken care of and is exactly what we need. Matt agrees after we all go to see it and we get a loan to buy it. Looks like I beat Joel out on getting a car first. Not that he'll care, much.

We decide to save what little is left from fixing the barn up since the man responsible for all this will have to pay for the majority of the expenses. The new lawyers talk of settlements and restitution basically went over my head. I officially hit the 3 month mark and pop out suddenly. I gain more weight than I thought was possible. I avoid going much of anywhere as stares follow my every move, helped along by the fact that I look much younger than I actually am. Matt handles the rumors and talk with ease and assures me that it doesn't matter all.

We continue our homeschooling and it's going well. We'll soon be done completely if we continue to move at our current pace. Matt and I grow even closer, sharing nearly everything. I still hind myself stunned by the amount of love he continues to show me. He works extremely hard for which I'm thankful. I still find myself crying though not alone anymore. Joel finishes his exams and returns home again as well.

Now it's the night before we go to trial and tension is evident in all of us. Matt's coming with me while I testify along with several other women. Mom and Joel insist on being there too even though I ask them not to. I'm the youngest out of all the others from what I've been told. I fight terror knowing that this could easily end with him away from all he's done.