Buffalo Sem.

chapter 10

A/N: I would like to tell everyone that as soon as this story and 'What I Want' is complete I will be picking randomly which story I want to write. I look forward to this! Anyways enough of me:

"Why didn't you tell me?" Iris asked.

"I didn't want anyone to treat me different, and I definitely don't want their pity. It's not like I'm going to go around like 'hi I'm riley and I have cancer' nope I ain't doing that."

"No one was asking you to. As your girlfriend it's my right to know what's going on with you. It's hard enough as it is trying to find out more about you, but you like to keep everything bottled up."

"I'm sorry I had a rough child hood." I said sarcastically.

"Oh please don't use that bullshit on me. Just please when something's happening with you let me know."

"It's hard talking about it all… the first month in the hospital was the worst and I fear that it's going to happen again."

"And this time I will be right there with you."

Xxx

That discussion was a week ago, right after the concert. Graduation was slowly coming up. I was definitely scared of what was going to happen but I know deep down that I can only hope for the best. I lay here in silence by myself. Iris decided it was best to leave me alone for a while. I was just deprived of not being around her so much. We even stopped sharing beds. I got to thinking that maybe I should have just kept this quiet.

Ever since I announced I had cancer everyone treated me differently, even teachers. It was like being tormented by dozens of scorpions, it felt like people were poisoning me. The boys didn't even act like this. It definitely wasn't my fault I had gotten cancer.

I got up and looked in the mirror. My hair is getting so long, my face is paler than it usually is, my eyes are surrounded by blackness as if telling me to go to sleep but I knew that I wasn't tired. I couldn't even laugh at how I looked I knew that I would soon have to go to the hospital. I decided that I might as well get out and get some air.

I should have brought my jacket; I was shivering as I walked out the front door of the building. I walked to the closest bench and sat down. I closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes I was no longer on the bench anymore, I was in a hospital bed. How could I have gotten here? Then I remembered that I was weak and went outside in the cold. Someone must have found me there. This cancer has taken the best of me again.

It was dark in here, perhaps it was the evening. All I could here was beeping signaling that I was still alive and snoring of someone. I then realized there was someone holding my hand. When I looked over I shook my head and thought to myself 'of course it would be Iris.' I needed something to occupy my mind without waking her but there is no way that I wouldn't wake her if I turned on the television or even if I moved.

I began to remember the first time I learned I had leukemia:

I had been sick for a day but I went to school anyways. All the guys took care of me during the day until I got to gym class. After I changed and came into the gym, I was told that we would be running laps around the track. I hated it.

Once we walked outside though my knee's buckled from underneath me. I had fell to the ground. The ambulance put me in a stretcher. They called my mother, I wasn't too happy about that. I soon blacked out after that.

When I woke I was lying in a hospital bed with all these cords hanging out of my body. The doctor came in checked my chart, shook his head, and said quietly to me that he was sorry. I thought for the first couple nights what he could be sorry for, I simply had a cold.

My parents walked inand said to me lightly 'you've devolped cancer.' They then walked out of the room. I'm pretty sure that my face looked puzzeled.

I snapped back to reality. Was I looking forward to die? Not really, but kind of. I'll never be able to do all the things that I wanted to. I could feel it in my body that I was definitely not going to make it through this one. I'm a fighter so I doubt that I would just let myself die. It isn't my time to go yet, not until I change the world.

I fell back to sleep knowing that I would not let myself die. What's the point of dying when I haven't even done anything to live for yet. I could dream of big things in my future. Starting a business that all of it's revenue would go to charity, or even become a doctor and help find the cure to cancer.

I would change lives of millions of people before I let myself die.

I woke this time from hearing Iris mumble things in her sleep. I had to wake her. "Iris wake up." I whispered.

"You're… you're awake!"

"Yeah." I laughed a little. "I wanted to tell you that I'm going to fight, I will not let myself die without doing something amazing."

"You couldn't wait until I woke up myself?"

"Well you were mumbling, and I thought hey might as well let the person I love the most know that I'm not ready to die yet."

"Thanks of thinking about me… I uh love you too."