I woke up to a headache and swollen eyes. Looking into the mirrored screen protector on my phone, I looked like shit. I couldn't believe I shed tears last night. But it had happened and there was nothing that I could do about it except suck it up. I took a long shower and dressed for the day. Looking at the time, I made my way down into the kitchen to eat before Ant came.
Enjoying my bagel and whitefish salad with some apple juice, Don walked in and didn't look my way. I watched him grab everything he needed to eat a bowl of cereal before he joined me at the table. We ate in silence. Fed up with the silent treatment, I pushed my hair out of my face and sighed heavily. "So you not speaking to me now?" He continued eating his cereal and I swear it had to be at least two long minutes until he finally looked up at me. His eyes weren't as bright as usual and his gaze made me uncomfortable. He just did a one shoulder shrug before I got up from the table and placed my dishes in the sink.
It wasn't long before Ant would be here so I decided to go and sit on the porch to wait. I took a seat on the porch swing and pushed off on my feet to give it some movement. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. I thought to myself. He would still be talking to me but I'm pretty sure that I would still be running away. Pulling out my earphones and going to my music library, I clicked shuffle. Mary J. Blige's Feel Like A Woman was the first song to play.
Closing my eyes, I kept the swinging up and started singing along with her.
I want you to rescue me, Take me from this misery, Put your arms around me babe
Hold me close, please hear me say, You really got a hold on me
Right here is where I wanna be, Boy, There's something I want you to do
Cause tonight I wanna feel like a woman
I don't wanna compete, I just wanna be the only girl that you need
After the song was over, it rolled into another but I didn't get a chance to hear. He took a seat right next to me but I didn't acknowledge his presence. The swing continued on and I thought about the song. It was what I wanted from Adonis. It was how I felt but put into a song. I heard it at the right time I guess.
I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was leaning back, staring at the clouds. "Nice song." his voice startled me. I wasn't expecting him to say anything to me. "Are you talking to me?" I asked not believing it. "Did you mean it?" he questioned full on ignoring my question. "Every word."
"Well, like I said B," he started but I held my hand up and cut him off. "Listen, if you're about to shut me down again then save your words." I snapped. "After all this time, I finally did what you wanted and admit my true, honest feelings and tell you I want to be with you. And what the hell did you do? Left. You fucking left!" Noticing Ant pulling up, I stood and left Don sitting there on the porch alone.
"Why does this relationship and feeling shit have to be so complicated?" I asked Ant around a mouthful of birthday cake ice cream. "It doesn't." he shrugged. "You made it complicated. After you two reunited, you should have hooked that man." Placing the bowl with the rest of my ice cream in it on the coffee table, I lay my head in his lap. He reached over and grabbed the bowl eating the remainder.
"I thought you didn't eat after people." "I don't but we share the same DNA. Have you given head lately?" I shook my head in the negative. "Well then I don't have to worry about cooties." I laughed at that. "How old are we Ant?" "Twenty-three if my memory is correct." he said looking lost. "Exactly, too damn old to be playing the cooties game." "Like how you and my boy are too damn old to be playing these damn games." he countered.
