"You have to tell him. You two haven't even talked in two weeks baby." My mom said. I was curled up on the couch with my head in her lap as she played in my hair. "I know. I tried calling him and going past his house, he won't answer." I sniffed. I was so tired of crying, it was all I did it seemed like. I was pregnant. Eleven weeks going on twelve today. I had an appointment today only because I was dehydrated last time and the ultrasound came out fuzzy. "I don't even know if he's alright. All I know is I fucked up with my shitty ass attitude. Pardon my language. Why do I do things like that? I always fuck a relationship up."
"Shhh. He's alright, he's just hurting. All I want to know is how could you be in such denial of being pregnant?" she shook her head. "Because I'm stupid. The way we were smoking boots and without protection at that, I knew it would happen but not this soon." My mom laughed at that. "Britni, you two remind me of you and your dad. Why do you think I told you not to let him go? They always say a girl ends up with someone like their father and I'll be damned if Adonis isn't like Derek." She placed her hand on my stomach. "Come on, let's get you to that appointment so we can see about my grandchild."
Walking into the doctors office, I wasn't prepared to see Don sitting in there. He was looking better than ever. I don't know if it was because I hadn't seen him in a long time or what but looking at him for the first time in 16 days, I was at a loss for words. We stared at each other for the longest. I couldn't help the tears or the swirl of emotions that went through my body. I wanted to run out but at the same time, I wanted to hug and kiss him. Tell him his sorry I was. "Hi." I spoke. He just gave a head nod and started scrolling through his phone. "Why didn't you tell me?" I hissed at my mom. "Child, you better go on somewhere." she said picking up a magazine. Sitting back in the seat, I started to shake my right leg out of nervousness. Even though I was just here two weeks ago. "Can you stop doing that?" Don asked. I stopped but then I started biting my nails until he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Calm down." Before I could take my hand back, I was called by a nurse. "Come on." I said to my mom. "I'm waiting out here."
After getting weighed and all the good stuff, we were placed in a room to wait for the doctor. "Don." I said softly. He looked up at me. "I'm sorry...for everything." "Not right now B." The room was silent until Dr. James walked in. "Hi Britni, how are you today, is this the father?" she asked extending her hand for him to shake. "The one and only." I smiled lightly. "Do you have to put that nasty cold gel on me today? I hate it, makes me feel nasty." I shivered. "I hate to say it but, yes." After checking my blood pressure, I lay back and awaited the coldness. A few minutes later, I was pulling my shirt back down. "Would you like photos from the ultrasound?" "No." I shook my head. "She wants them." Don said glaring at me. "Okay. When you check out, you will receive them. Any questions? Sickness?" I shook my head. "Actually, I do. I know she won't tell me but do you have a list of what she can and can't eat? Should be doing as far as work? Britni is pretty stubborn and does what she wants." We left out with a bunch of pamphlets and mini books once he was finished.
I didn't see my mom in the waiting area. "Uhm, excuse me. The lady who came in with me, is she in here?" I asked the receptionist. "Oh she said to tell you something came up and you had a ride." she said in a cheery voice. "Thanks."
"You hungry?" I shook my head no. "You been eating right since you found out?" "Yes." I sighed. "Don't start that attitude shit today. I had it up to the sky with that." he gritted out. "All I said was yes. Get out your feelings." He pulled up into a parking space. "Are you coming in?" I asked before getting out. "Nah. I got stuff to do. Besides, you don't want anything to do with me right?" he shot at me.
"I just wanted to talk about the baby. Nothing else." I lied. "You're lying. I know you like the back of my hand yo. You're gonna get me in that apartment and sweet talk me about how sorry you are and didn't mean it. Then you're going to give me the key back, fuck me and never truly talk about what was said. Thinking everything is alright." he laughed. "Damn. You know what? I'll come up. Twenty minutes is all I'm giving you. And I'm not listening to you talk, you're gonna listen to me this time. You got that?" He turned the car off and followed me into the building.
Once inside, I headed straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of plain lays chips and a snickers bar from the pantry. Opening the candy bar I began cutting it into a bowl. "Thought you wasn't hungry." "That was then." I shrugged. Mixing the candy with a handful of chips, I sat at the table.
"Talk. I've used five of the twenty minutes already making my snack." I said licking the sweet and salty mix off my fingers. "You just make me feel like a pushover. Like you give no fucks about my feelings or me in general. I let you get away with too much shit." he paused. "Way too much. That's my fault though. I didn't want to make you feel like I was one of your exes by raising my voice or any of that. You probably noticed this and took advantage of it, maybe that wasn't your intention but it looks like it. I invested way too much time and feelings in you to be treated how you treat me. You don't talk about your feelings to me or anything really but me? I tell you everything." I opened my mouth to say something.
"No, don't talk because I'm not finished. I want to just kiss you so bad, forget everything and make love to you over and over. I bet you would like that right?" I didn't say anything. "Hell, I allowed you to put your hands on me and didn't do anything back. That's when I knew- look at me." I lifted my head and stared in his eyes. "That's when I knew that I loved you B. I fuckin love your crazy, too hype, mean ass." he laughed. "I love you! I just can't keep being ran over like this. Which is why I ignored you trying to contact me. I needed to get it together."
He came and sat by me, lifting my shirt and placing his hand on my semi flat stomach. "You have to work on yourself baby. I don't want my kid to have to grow up witnessing a childish ass mother. We grown. Stop your shit, you got that?" "I got it." I whispered before biting my lip. "Alright, I'm out." he said pulling me up into a hug and kissing the top of my head.
I walked him to the door. "Call me if you need anything. I don't care what time it is, I'll come. Even though I know you won't call, I'll be calling and stopping by." he said before walking out. "I hear you." I watched him walk down the hall to the elevator. "Wait!" I yelled before he got on. I made my way to him. "I love you too." I told him, I really did. Pushing my hair out of my face, he smiled down at me. "I know you do." He stepped back onto the elevator and the doors shut, leaving me in the hall alone. "I really fucked up something good." I said to myself while making my way back inside.
This is just a filler chapter..
