Songbird (Tradley AU)

Chapter One - God Knows I'm Hurting

I sighed as I twisted the small rose in my fingers, looking over the edge of the bridge as my legs swayed with the light breeze of the sunrise, I sighed again and leant to the side, my body falling against the cool metal of the structural supports. I turned my eyes to watch the hues of pink and orange in the sky transition into blue.

"I miss you baby." I whispered to the sky "so so so so much, and I'm so sorry I let you down in your darkest hour. One day we'll be together, but for now I'm holding on. I'm not proud of my reputation since you've been gone, but there's nothing else for me to do apart from drugs or alcohol. But I'm not going to go down that path. Every morning I wake up hoping for you to be there beside me and this to just be a horrible nightmare, and every morning I'm destroyed all over again with the painful reminder that this is reality."  I whispered, my voice breaking and shaking "Anyway, I've got to go and get ready for work and stuff." I smiled , standing up before letting the rose slip between my fingers and watching it fall into the water and be carried down stream by the gentle current running through the water body "I'll talk to you tomorrow baby, I love you."

After I whispered those final words I started walking along the bridge, my fingertips grazing the wall as I made my way home to have a coffee, alone, and then head to work.

Once home I sighed and sat down on the couch hunched over my knees, trying to resist looking at the memories plastered on the walls and on the mantle, especially the framed love letter that my fiancé wrote me before that night.

After about ten minutes I hauled myself up to force some food and drink down my own throat, I hated how quiet the house was without him, but I didn't have the heart or motivation the change that, not yet anyway.

Work was the usual whirl of scanning items and dealing with argumentative Middle Aged mothers who demanded to see my manager.

As I headed back to the lonely prison I call home I stopped off for an evening coffee, in the shop he used to work at, in the shop we met at.

I went up to the counter and ordered a large caramel latte, payed and headed to my usual corner table, waiting in anticipation for the caffeine my body needed to haul itself home and into bed, maybe with another guy, maybe not tonight, who knew where the night would take me.

After a prolonged wait for my drink, a small boy with thick brown curls emerged from the staff kitchens, carrying a tray that held my latte.

Now that is a boy I'd like to fuck

"Uhm...a caramel latte?" He asked nervously, the tray visibly shaking from his lack of a steady hand, a thick brummie accent lacing through his words as my eyes scanned him up and down. I might as well have some fun with this whilst he's in front of me.

"Yep." I smirked, looking up at the nervous boy

"Okay." He hummed, Putting the tray down and putting the coffee Infront of me "Careful, it's really hot."

"What is? You or the coffee?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, my smirk growing a little wider as a blush crept onto his cheeks and he clearly became a little flustered "What time do you get off work, honey?"

"What's it to you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and shocking me with this sudden burst of confidence, although his cheeks were still rosy.

"Oh I don't know, what is it to me, hm? It's anything you want it to be." I flirted with another wink

"Meet me at five out front." He smiled, a flirtier tone now entering his voice along with a hint of amusement.

"Deal," I smiled, indiscreetly checking out his ass as he walked away.

Goddamnit he's so much like him, how am I going to be able to do this

So five pm rolled around and I waited out the front of the coffee shop, feeling an unusual sense of excitement in the pit of my stomach, maybe this was my chance to change my life around. Maybe I'd be able to move on and accept he's not coming back, but that's okay.

As five fifteen came and went I began to think that the boy wasn't going to make an appearance when he suddenly did.

"I'm really sorry I got held up with washing up the dishes and everything." He apologised with a smile that almost exactly mirrored my fiancé's in a way that was so scary, and I almost made my heart break all over again.

"No worries, we have all evening." I winked, leaning him in the general direction of my house "I never caught your name, by the way."

"Oh...um, Bradley, but my friends call me brad." He smiled "And you?"

"Tristan." I hummed "but tonight you can call me daddy."
I winked with a small laugh "Bradley doesn't suit you, I think Imma call you Curley."

Brad rolled his eyes "Fuck off am I calling you daddy, no way is that happening,"

"We'll see where the night takes us, won't we hm?." I laughed, pushing him playfully "Wait, you are like legal right, like over 16?"

"Of course." He rolled his eyes "I'm 18."

"Okay good." I smiled.

He's the same age you were when you first realised you really loved him.

Around twenty minutes later we reached my house and I unlocked the door and showed him in. Strangely enough I felt almost guilty about leading him here when he reminds me so much of my fiancé, but it's clear he understood my intentions otherwise he wouldn't have followed me home.

"The bedroom is the second door on the left upstairs." I smiled to him "You can get ready and stuff, I'll be up in a minute."

Brad raised an eyebrow and shook his head "you think you're going to get me into bed that easily?" He questioned "Jesus Christ No, what's in it for me?"

Please stop acting like him, I'm going to cry

"U-uh that is a good question actually." I bit my lip, kicking myself about the small stammer I started the sentence with "What is in it for you Curley, huh? What do you want from this?"

"Cuddles afterwards." He blushed with a small laugh.

After sex cuddles were his favourite

"Sure." I hummed "If you start heading upstairs and stuff, there's one thing I've gotta do beforehand." I smiled, before watching him get up and walk upstairs. Once I was sure he was out of sight I turned to the mantelpiece for the first time in about a month, suddenly being hit with floods of memories of how happy my fiancé and I were together, I let out a long sigh, as if I were trying to exhale all the overwhelming feelings I got just from looking at the photos.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to the photo of my fiancé with his arm slung around his best friend Connor "I promise I'll think about you, I'll come and see you in the morning." I whispered before gently placing a kiss on my fingertips and placing them on his cheek in the photo and then turning the photo face down, I didn't want him to see or hear what was about to happen.