My Inner Demons

Chapter 3

Gohan stared as he thought. It's been nearly a month since the accident and everyone was avoiding him like the plague. His mother was the worst, though. She was so busy now that she hardly even looked in his direction now. Gohan's guilt has grown overwhelming. He wanted to apologize to the others for hurting them, but his mother wouldn't let him leave the house at long periods of time. He doesn't care anymore, they would just give him that hateful stares. Even Eighteen hated him and she hardly knew him. Perhaps it was because he had killed Goku and she couldn't. He shrugged at his thoughts, using his razor blade to cut at his wrist again. After the accident, he had noticed that his skin was quite a bit more fragile than usual, so he used other methods to deal with his guilt, sadness and slowly growing hatred. He had noticed that it was starting a few weeks ago, whenever he thought of his father, he would start getting angry at the man.

Gohan shook his head, trying to get his thoughts away from the older and instead focused on the red liquid that was dripping from his wounds. He stared, mesmerized, wanting to see more of his own blood. Gohan pressed the razor against his arm once again and cut a vertical line down his arm and over previous cuts. This one was much deeper, though, as he purposely hit a vein. He had already done the same to his right arm and had ran out of space to cut, so he moved on to his other arm. Both his arms were littered in cuts, varying in size. Gohan stared at both his arms as he let his razor fall, it landing in the small puddle of blood that was quickly forming beneath the teenager. Gohan knew that he should probably seek medical help, but couldn't bring himself to do so. He didn't care, he wanted to bleed out and leave this place behind. He didn't even care whether he went to hell or not, he just needed an escape. Gohan sighed as he started to feel dizzy, falling backwards so he could lay down on the bed with his legs still dangling over the side, his arms by his side as Gohan closed his eyes, feeling himself slowly starting to grow numb. He felt his Ki flicker wildly and then start to grow lower and lower. He knew that the others were going to be able to sense it and even if they did race here to try and save him, they would be to late.

Vegeta frowned as Bulma tried to force him into the helicopter, wanting to go visit Gohan and Chi-Chi. He sighed and made a move to argue against her when he felt Gohan's Ki flicker before lowering to a dangerous level. He looked in the direction he felt Gohan's Ki coming from and noticed that his mother was there as well. Vegeta moved quickly, already knowing what was going on. He grabbed Bulma, who was holding Trunks and flew into the air before blasting off. Bulma tried protesting all the way there, but stopped after she noticed Piccolo in front of them, flying a few feet ahead of them. Vegeta felt something he never felt before. He was panicking. When they landed, they noticed Chi-Chi bustling about in the kitchen, oblivious as to what was happening in her sons room. Vegeta set Bulma down gently before rushing to the door and slamming it open, nearly giving the poor woman inside a heart attack.

Vegeta scowled at her confused look before rushing up the stairs, Piccolo right behind him. He tried opening Gohan's door, but frowned when he noticed it was locked. He scoffed and kicked the door in, ignoring Chi-Chi's yells at him as she climbed the stairs along with Bulma. Vegeta entered the room, his attention instantly being grabbed by the boy on the bed, parts of his clothing was soaked in blood along with his sheets. There was a puddle of blood on the floor near his feet. Vegeta stared, not knowing how to react. Piccolo turned just in time to prevent the two woman from entering the room. His face hard, he could feel his heart slowly start to break the more he understood what was going on. Gohan had killed himself and he had just lost his first and only friend. Piccolo squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again, looking into the confused eyes of Goku's wife.
"It's better if you didn't see this," he said, confusing the woman even more.
"See what, Piccolo?" Bulma asked, not understanding the men's actions.

Gohan stared at his own body, watching as Vegeta slowly approached it. A grim look on his own face, he was trapped. Something was keeping him here and he didn't know what it was. He sighed, he just wanted to leave. He watched as Vegeta lightly touched his cheek, staring at his face. Vegeta suddenly felt an immense amount of anger. He was angry at Goku for leaving them and not wanting to return. Did he even know what was happening? No, of course not. Vegeta thought bitterly. The idiot was probably to busy to notice that his son was slowly dying.
Chi-Chi grew frustrated and pushed past Piccolo, nearly having another heart attack at the sight of her son.
She let out a pain filled scream as she went over to him, touching his cheeks that was slowly starting to grow cold. She was slowly starting to get herself covered in blood as she started shaking his body, trying to wake him up.

"What's going-" Bulma asked as she entered the room, but cut herself off at the sight that greeted her. She quickly turned to cut off Trunks' sight from the scene though the baby had already seen.
"Gohan, wake up! Wake up! Baby, please wake up," Chi-Chi cried as she buried her face in the boy's chest. She started crying loudly, wailing for her baby boy to wake up, but nothing brought the boy back. Gohan watched the scene unfold from the side lines, not feeling the tiniest bit of guilt as he listened to his mother cry for him. He didn't feel anything at that moment. He looked over towards Piccolo, sensing the emotions coming off of the man. If Gohan were honest, the only thing he felt guilty about was leaving the Namekian. The man was confused and heartbroken. He didn't understand why Gohan hadn't just come to him and talk with him, he would have tried to help.

After nearly thirty minutes of his mother's continued wailing, she stopped. She just sat there and stared, not making a move. Bulma had asked Vegeta to move the body, but the prince couldn't find it in himself to move either. Piccolo was the one to react first and gently picked up Gohan's body, saying he would take it to the lookout and keep it there until they decided what to do. Vegeta snapped out of his trance and followed after the Namekian, not wanting to stay in that room for too long. Gohan had decided he would follow them as he had sensed the others landing outside. Vegeta was the first to walk outside.
"Hey, Vegeta! What happened? We noticed Gohan's-" Krillin started, but cut himself off as Piccolo walked outside, carrying Gohan's body. Krillin started to shake and fell to his hands and knees, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears fell. Even Eighteen looked shocked at the news, not understanding why the boy would take his own life. Piccolo barely spared them a glance before he took to the sky and flew away.

For the next few days, Gohan watched silently as Bulma made funeral arrangements, his mother was barely able to keep herself from crying every time Gohan's name was mentioned. Once it was the actual funeral, he watched as everyone said nice things about him, recalling memories of a time before this. Gohan didn't feel anything. He wasn't touched by the words spoken about him. He felt numb, though he was starting to wish he could feel something. Gohan watched as nearly everyone cried over him, with the exception of Piccolo and Vegeta, though he could sense Piccolo holding his tears back and that Vegeta was having an inner battle with himself. Gohan's senses were a lot more sensitive now, he could hear a lot better and see better, though he couldn't really smell anything. He could sense what people were feeling. He just couldn't bring himself to care as he sensed some form of regret come from everyone he knew.

Piccolo was flying back to the lookout, trying to make sense of things. Why hadn't Gohan just come to him? He might not be the best with emotions, but he could at least listen. Piccolo was confused, not noticing that he had already landed on the lookout floor. Piccolo wasn't one to show emotion, he had, at one time, thought that he didn't have any emotions to begin with. That was before Gohan. He remembered the first time he had officially met the boy. He was so small and weak, to soft and couldn't stop himself from crying for his daddy and mommy. Piccolo had secretly watched over the boy as he lived in the wilderness for those six months. He had watched as the little, defenceless and weak boy grew stronger. Piccolo can't remember when or how, but that little boy had somehow managed to worm his way into Piccolo's cold and frozen heart. Gohan was everything Piccolo wasn’t. He was kind and gentle, warm, a light in the darkness. Piccolo was rude, grumpy and cold, stuck in that never ending darkness. Until Gohan wormed his way into his cold heart.

Gohan was a beacon of light in that darkness, his warmth coaxing Piccolo to go into that light. Gohan warmed and melted his frozen heart. But, it seems Piccolo couldn't do the same for his friend. Gohan's light had slowly started to flicker, the cold had slowly over taken his warmth, until it was all gone. The light faded out and the warmth was frozen. Piccolo's shoulders started shaking, not noticing Dende and Popo approaching him. They stopped a few feet away, noticing Piccolo's pain. Piccolo felt as though he failed. He failed Gohan. He broke his promise to protect Gohan.
"Please, forgive me, my friend. I failed. I failed you," Piccolo cried, nearly collapsing at the emotional pain he was feeling. He didn't mean to
He didn't notice and now, he was paying the ultimate price for making that mistake.