Hot Line | ✓

call #11

"hello. i have a super important question for you."

"oh no. i don't think i'm ready for an important question."

"well, you better get ready."

"okay. i'm ready."

"that was fast." he laughs.

"you told me to get ready. so here i am, ready. what's the question?"

"what toppings should i get on the pizza i'm about to order?"

the line falls silent.

"are you serious?" she says with a laugh.

"do i sound like i'm kidding, tee?"

"why should i tell you what kind of toppings to get when i'm not getting any of this pizza? sounds like an unfair deal to me."

"i just thought maybe you'd like to help your good friend out in making a tough decision. it appears i was wrong."

"pepperoni, obviously," she says. "maybe some mushrooms. you don't seem like a mushroom kind of guy though."

"what is that supposed to mean?"

"i read once that people who don't like mushrooms lack spontaneity."

"are you serious?"

"no. i made it up. i don't know what the hell i meant. you just don't seem like a guy who likes mushrooms."

"well, you're wrong. i love mushrooms. in fact, i'm going to order extra mushrooms just to spite your assumptions of me. i'm a fungi."

"you did not just make a mushroom joke. fun guys don't make mushroom jokes."

"this fun guy just did."

"i'm blocking your number."

"go ahead, sweetheart. i'll be busy eating my pizza. i don't have mush room for negative people in my life right now."

"another pun?" she says incredulously."please never call this number again."