Your Hope (YoonSeok)

Chap 32

Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up

- Unknown

Yoongi's Pov

It's been around 3 weeks since Hoseok's Birthday. After we kicked Kyung out we did a few more rounds. I was exhausted. I wasn't that sore, I think Hoseok really enjoyed it.

Today was the anniversary of my mum's death and I feel like shit. My depression has hit me full force today.

I can hear my grandpa quietly sobbing in his room. I know he misses mum so much. We both do, we were such a close family.

Sometimes I run through scenarios that I could of save her or the things I could have done differently. Like maybe of been running a few minutes late or just enjoyed her singing.

I reached over to my desk and grabbed the picture of her, me and grandpa in.

"I miss you so much, so fucking much." I felt the vomit rising up and I ran towards the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

I felt my grandpa come in and rub my back.

"Oh dear. Come on let's get you to bed." He helped me up and walked me to my bed.

He walked out and soon came back with some water and pills. "Here take these. It will be okay Yoongi, it will get easier."

"Stay please." I looked up at him.

He nodded and got under the duvet with me. I cuddled into his side.

"You know your mum used to do this when she broke up with her boyfriends or she was ill." Seokjin giggled.

"Really?"

"Yep, she would come in crying looking all ugly and want to cuddle with me." He smiled.

"When there was a storm I would run into her room and she would be waiting for me with her arms open. I would just run into her arms and hug her tight while she would sing horribly in my ear." I said thinking about the memory.

"You still are scared of storms Yoongi, and she did have a horrible voice. I remember she asked for singing lessons and I did have the heart to say no." I laughed at that.

For the rest of day, we spoke about memories with mum, I have several cups of tea in my room from how much we drunk.

I soon fell asleep after throwing up again.

"I think he has the stomach bug, have your clothes to sleep in?" I heard men talk.

"Alright and yeah I do, see you Seokjin." I heard a mans voice.

I opened one eye and saw Hoseok shutting my door.

"I've told it's creepy to stare." He spoke up.

"I'm just admiring Hoseok," I said sleep evident in my voice.

"How are you feeling? Seokjin said you were sick." He took off his shoes.

"I'm okay, just a small headache." Hoseok pulled himself under the covers and pulled me against him.

"Hmm, I love you so fucking much." He whispers. "You know I want a whole bunch of kids."

"A bunch?" I screech.

"Yeah like 11 or 12." He just grins.

"No way in hell am I going to handle all of them." I stare at him.

"Fine okay, maybe 8."

"Hoseok. The most I'm having it like 2 or 3." I said wrapping myself around him.

"What? No way." He shakes his head like he can't believe it.

"Yes, way." I kiss his nose. "I want to get a tattoo soon and I want you to design it."

"Really? What do you want?" He asked.

"Mum with some roses or flowers around it. Make it pretty."

"Alright, I'll take you to where I get mine done. I trust him to do it." He says placing his lips on my forehead and leaving them there.

"Okay," I say with a yawn at the end.

"Go sleep I'll be here when you wake up."