If I Could I Would [boyxboy]

Chapter Three

It was a short while we stayed like that on the bus; me and him just connected by the slightest touch. My heart would race at every stop, because it threatened to tear us apart. I didn't want this to end not now and I think not ever.

Our stop finally appeared, making me feel sad. I wanted to stay like this. My cover was blown but at that moment I could really care less.

The bus driver was just turning his head to look back when I jumped. WTF was I doing?!? How could I like this....no way, I could never.....I would never! Would I?!?

I walk off the bus listening to his footsteps behind me, but as the bus drives away I start to speed walk to my house. "Hey, Bryce," he shouts, in a voice that becoming more distant. "HEY!" he shouts again. I’m already at house so I rush through the door and slam it shut. His voice is still ringing in my ears. My heart is pounding not only from that half sprint but from the incident that happened on the bus.

I thought I had finally gotten rid of those feelings a long time ago! I thought I was fixed, I thought the therapy worked! Why was I feeling this?!? 'I don't like him' I chant in my head a few times but all that does is make me think of him the more. the way his hair is wavy not curly, the way his hazel eyes compliment his sun kissed skin, and the way his deep lovely voice runs threw me like rivers when he speaks. I think of how his body is outlined in the slightly tight white top and how when he waves the top part of his bicep is visible. Though his clothe sort of hang on him, you can see the beautiful definitions of his muscles.

Thinking of this makes me tingly down there. the more I try to not think about it, the more it pops up in my mind; images from the day and images from my imagination collide to create this magnificent beauty in my mind.

By the time I come back to reality my hands are in my pants and I'm stroking. I take off my pants and slide down my boxers to my knees. I pump the base of my member making my whole body fill with tingles. The more images of him the faster I stroke; I slide my hand up and down my hardened member. It becomes harder the more I climb up my orgasmic mountain; so I start to stoke harder and faster. The more I stroke I hit the tip of my penis and get surges of tingles running through my legs all the way to my toes. The pre-cum is dripping out making my hand slick and slide over my cock .I stroke harder thinking about his rock hard abs and how nice his touch would. I pump my cock as fast as I physically can and fall off my orgasmic mountain. I cum so hard I curl up. My toes are curled and my body is pumped with electricity.

 Cum was all over my chest and I couldn't believe I came that much. I grab a rag to clean off the cum covered chest. I check to see if anything got on my bed but it didn't!

So after I clean up I try to push what just happened out of my mind. I get my work out and start texting Matt and Vienna. We talk about everything but this I couldn't tell them. What would happen if they stopped being my friend or worse told people? Neither of them knew I went for therapy to be fixed; they just thought I went for my past self-harm issues. They never knew nor will they ever know because I will never tell them! I am not a fag, I like girls not boys! If I tell myself enough just like the doctor told me I will not have these feelings! So I do that whenever he comes to mind!

after and awkward dinner with my sister, brother, and parents I go to the game room to play GTA 5 for a bit before bed; the only thing is that when I turn on my ps3 I see someone by the name of Atownkilla has joined my gaming team. I know it's him but I just can't deal with him so I just turn it off!

Everywhere I go I can't get away from him....and I'm still not sure if I want to.

So I finally get into bed and stare at the ceiling. I whisper in my softest voice "God if you can hear me please fix me! I don't want to be this way; please send me a sign if it's right or wrong to feel this!"

I fall asleep dreaming about our hands being connected by just a pinky, but feeling like we were attached by our souls

[Hey, hoped you liked ;) told you the smut was coming! and yeah tell me what you think by commenting and voting! and you all for taking the time to look or eve read my book :)]