I'm the real delirious

Memories.

I was sitting in my office editing a video while listening to music. Then a song came on that reminded me of my father came on. Tears started to come to my eyes. The song was Please Don't Go by Joel Adams.

Nobody ever knows
Nobody ever sees
I left my soul
Back there now I'm too weak
Most nights I pray for you to come home
Praying to the Lord
Praying for my soul

Now Please Don't Go
Most Nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone
Now Please Don't Go, oh no
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So Please Don't Go

Mmhm...

Cause I don't ever want to know
Don't ever want to see things change
Cause when I'm living on my own
I'll wanna take it back and start again
Most nights I pray for you to come home
Praying to the Lord
Praying for my soul

Now Please Don't Go
Most Nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone
Now Please Don't Go, oh no
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So Please Don't Go

(Oh oh oh)
I send so many messages you don't reply!
(Oh oh oh)
I gotta figure out what am I missing babe!
Singing now (Oh oh oh)
And I need you now, I need your love!
(Oh oh oh)

Now Please Don't Go
Most Nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone
Now Please Don't Go, oh no
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So Please Don't
Please Don't Go

Please Don't Go
Please Don't Go (oh no)
Please Don't Go (oh no)
I think of you whenever I'm alone
So Please Don't Go

I wiped away my tears and took a deep breathe. This song was one of the ones I played at his funeral cause this was our song. He would say that he is and or was praying for my soul. I was weak back then. He knew I would get stronger. He knew that. I left my soul behind long ago. I left it when my father died. That was the worst year of my life. I had to live with a witch and a troll. You may decide who is who. It was also the most eventful year of my life. I ran away from home. Got my first job. Moved in with Luke. After my dad passed everything was ruff though. It made my year more hectic. It made my life better and worse. Let's list them.

Better:
I finally got away from beatings.
I ran away.
Made money.
Inspired me to do what I wanna do and be who I wanna be.
Made me smarter and a better person.

Worse:
I miss him uncontrollably.
No parental figure.

That's kinda all I had. I loved my dad. I still do. I was gonna end up either dead from suicide or run away some time in the near future at the time of his passing. So I guess it gave me an excuse to leave Sophia. The only reason i stayed so long was for my dad. So I could have a parental figure. He was also like my anchor. When I was drifting off into insanity he held me in place and made sure I didn't drift off to far. I love my dad for that. I always will.

What can i say. I was and always will be a daddy's girl.