pianí - bsk

.twelve [last]

AN: rest in peace every reader, i am so sorry.

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boo seungkwan pov
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i have a big exam and i did not study for it. i have been focusing all on jayeon. "hey seungkwan, don't sweat it. you're just giving kim yooa a chance to surpass you. poor girl has been stuck at second place since the first year of high school!" hansol says. he's right, i'm being considerate.

"good luck hansol on your health exam." i shout back at him from across the hall. i get a sudden call from jayeon's grandma. "hello? is everything alright?" i ask, i stop and pull over to take the call.

"hurry down here! jayeon is in critical condition!" her grandma cries into the phone. jayeon, why now.

i race down the opposite side of the hall bumping into one of the teachers. "what are you doing?" they growl. "please move, my friend is dying in the hospital now!" they sigh and move aside for me.

i sprint all the way to the hospital, i don't have time for busses and taxis right now. please jayeon, please be okay. please wait for me i'll be right there.

i run into the lobby to see a few nurses holding back a small old lady that looks like... "is jayeon okay?!" i rush towards her grandma. she stops struggling and falls to the ground into a weeping mess, please say jayeon is okay.

"i don't think you will be coming back anytime soon seungkwan." her grandma says. "what do you mean?" i ask her.

"shes gone, and it's my fault for not forcing her into surgery." she continues to cry into her handkerchief. jayeon, i told you to wait for me. you just left me without saying goodbye...

"she left you this letter for you, there was also a note on top that said to read each word carefully." i take the letter in hand.

i can't control the tears, look what you have done to me baek jayeon. you have taken my heart and made it anew. for these few months we didn't spend much time together but i wish i could say something to you right now. i wish i could tell you that, i love you. i love you so much and i will never ever forget, hell how could i ever.

i have nothing to offer, like i said before. all i can do is pass a class, but you. you're on a whole other level. i could never be like you or even catch up to you...

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[1 year later]
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i take a deep breath, feeling the warmth in the spring air. today i am finally reading the letter she left me. i miss you baek, i hope you are playing for your parents right now. but most of all, i hope you're happy and smiling down on me. anyway, lets just jump right in.

i take a feel for the crisp paper, what is she going to pour out on me? anger or melancholy? i guess i'll just have to read.

"dear boo seungkwan,

hey it's jayeon, i just wanted to say goodbye. the doctors told me that i would be leaving anytime soon if j didn't get the surgery. i didn't want to get the surgery, but you made me confused on wether i should or not. i'll finally be seeing my parents again though and i can't wait to play the piano up there for them. it was really difficult for me to write this. letting go of you was the hardest thing for me to go through while being in the process of death. to tell you the truth, i never liked hansol if you were wondering, i only saw him as a friend. us three made so many memories together and i wish i could make a million more, but as for you. you were always on mind 24/7 and i couldn't wait to see you again, but i dread everyday i couldn't. you are someone special seungkwan, you can do probably the hardest math questions in 2 seconds! lets just say i fell in love with a genius. i am thankful that you ran up to me on that day of the prelims. i am very thankful for getting to know you. i will never forget you, i promise i'll watch you from above. thank you for alway being there, you made me feel like i should push till the end. at first i thought my music meant nothing to others but it really reached them. my music was meant to be heard and you proved that to me. i can't believe i'm finally saying this but, i love you, i love you, i love you! even in under these couple of months we were together you finally gave me a reason to keep on going, i know i didn't have much time but i am so grateful. thank you so much, boo seungkwan.
            yours truly, baek jayeon

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tears fall from my eyes dripping onto the paper, she loves me. why did you leave me then, why did you have to disappear? i am happy to say i fell in love with a pianist. baek jayeon, you are no longer that barely burning amber. you are a thousand suns that make my world colorful.

"you still exist within me"

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the end.