pianí - bsk

.eleven

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boo seungkwan pov
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* 2 weeks later *

jayeon fell again, after finals at the piano competition. i don't know what to do or think anymore. i'm starting to think things aren't okay anymore.

i hate going into that hospital to visit her everyday. the doctors say that she will be in the hospital for awhile now. i don't know when she will be discharged or even if she will step outside again.

i may be overthinking it but right now shes my only thought. i can't focus on anything else. my grades have been dropping because of her and my mom isn't happy what so ever.

my mom better get over it though, i work hard to get those grades and it wouldn't hurt to care about others at the moment.

jayeon is my main concern. i wish to stay by her side but it hurts so much walking into that unsanitary place. today i am visiting jayeon again but the doctors also told me she has gotten worse. i need to see her again, i don't care about anything else.

i take the elevator up to her room, i'm scared to see how unhealthy she looks. i want her to get better quickly.

"hello?" i open the door to see jayeon sitting up smiling, "hey..seungkwan, i know the doctors told you have gotten worse but i'll be fine!" she exceedingly says, tears start to form in my eyes.

"lies, you told me last time everything would be okay!" i cry out, she has been lying to me this whole time. she says she will be okay but she just gets worse.

"seungkwan, i'm sorry but please don't worry about me. i don't even understand why you worry, we just met over a month ago." she says.

"i don't care about time or anything, the doctors told me you got worse and everyday you say you will get better." i grimace.

"seungkwan, can you take me to the roof?" she asks, can she even walk. i'm so worried she might waste her energy.

"of course." i help her up out of the hospital bed onto my back.

"hold on okay, i've got you." i inform her, i hope she doesn't fall off. she could literally die and then i would be a murderer.

her arms wrap around my neck, her hands begin to clench my shirt and her legs wrap softly around my waist. shes so small and light, how could some disease like this attack her? why did it have to be her.

we find are way to the rooftop but it's complicated opening this damn door. "jayeon do you think you can get the door, i'll squat down okay?" i kneel down to let her twist the knob and open it. "got it." she says laughing.

"thank you for taking me up here, i just need some air." she adds, anything for you. she gets off my back slowly and finds her way to one of the benches.

you are what stops time, you are what makes life so, colorful. how can you always look so free, the way you light up even at the weakest point. shes feral, indigenous, ineffable and unutterable. i just can't read her, no one can.

"what awaits me next boo seungkwan."

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AN: this last chapter will fuck you up okay.