BALANCE (Reylo Fanfic)

Chapter 8- Heartbroken

What? I can't believe my ears. He lies to me and now he totally turns back to the dark side. What if he doesn't love me at all? What if all those things he said were a lie too? I don't know what to do. I didn't even want to know what Leia felt like and now I have to explain to her what happened. Leia sat back down next to me, devastated.

"I- I don't understand." She said almost with tears in her eyes.

Tears started to swell up in my eyes. "It was all a lie. Everything."

"What? The plan?"

"There never was a plan." A tear fell down my cheek and into my glass of water which made me look down at my food. I hurt too much to eat.

"So, there's no light in him at all?"

I sighed. "I don't know. Probably not."

"What about him and you?"

"It wasn't a lie to me, but it probably was to him." Leia looked down at the floor. "But what hurts the most is that I still love him." I said with tears flowing out of my eyes. Leia leaaned over and hugged me.

I like to think Leia as my mom even though she's not. I still don't know who my real mother is.

"Thank you, General."

"We both will hurt for awhile, but we need to move on."

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't bring him back. I can't believe this happened to you twice."

"Yeah. Me too. Try to get on with the rest of your day. Go see Finn or Poe, maybe they will make you feel better." I nodded and got up. I walked to the table where Finn and Poe were. They were laughing and joking around. I stood there until Finn noticed me. "Holy crap, you look like a wreak." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Thanks." I said sarcastically.

He got up and put a hand on my back and pulled up a chair in the middle of where him and Poe were sitting. I sat down. "Sorry, just wow," he said. I sighed. "You have no idea."

"What happened?"

"You haven't heard?"

"No, what?"

"Ben, he left. He went back to he First Order."

"Damn, Rey. I knew how you felt about him. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"Do you still love him?"

"No." I lied.

"Good. You don't need a guy like that in your life."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I am."

Poe pulled on my shoulder so he turned my whole body towards him. "Rey, just so you know... we will always have your back."

"Thanks, guys. I really needed this."

"No problem." They said in unison.

--

The rest of the month I did what
Leia mentioned. I helped Finn and Poe with their duties. I tried to keep my mind off of Ben- wait, Kylo, but it wasn't happening. Every five seconds I thought of him. How I felt when he kissed me. How I could still feel his arms around me. How it felt when he starred deep into my eyes. How it felt when he actually loved me.

Leia was holding up way better then I was, surprisingly. I guess she's used to it by now. Luke wasn't surprised at all when he found out. He told me there was no way that killing people for no reason could of been a part of a 'plan' to defeat Snoke and that the only reason he was training me is so that he could earn my trust and turn me to the Dark Side. Sometimes I still felt like maybe he did love me, but I knew that wasn't true.

I start training with Luke again, today, so I got dressed in my padawan robe. I bet Kylo would look good in this robe. I put my hair in a three buns like I usually do and then I headed out.

Me and Luke decided that he should train me here. Leia had a room just for us to train in.

"Let's see if he actually taught you anything. Lift that huge block over there." Luke said.

I nodded.

I turned towards the block and closed my eyes. I remembered when Kylo touched me, the force around us at that moment was so strong. All of the sudden I felt this... boost. I lifted my arm and started moving the block across the room. It was easy. It never been this easy before. Was it because Kylo helped me that one time? I sat the block on the ground gently. I turned around and Luke's mouth was wide opened.

"Well, I guess you did learn something while you were gone."

I shrugged "You could say that."

"Mind tricks?"

"Yep."

"Well, I guess he did help me a little bit."

"Yeah."

He looked down at the ground with a frown.

"Master?" I said.

"Rey, I felt something when you two were together. The force, it was the strongest that I've ever felt off of someone, even my father."

"Master, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that this whole situation is gonna end up really bad or really good."

"Oh."

"Yeah... That's all we are gonna do today. Be here tomorrow at 7:00 am. We will work on lifting yourself into the air, or I guess in other words, 'flying'. And Rey?"

"Yes, Master Luke?"

"Get ready for anything."

After training with Luke, I went to go chat with Finn. He was sweeping the cafeteria floor, he was doing a good job, must be because he worked in the sanitation of stormtroopers.

"Hey, Finn." I called out to him. He turned around and smiled. "Oh, hey, Rey. How are you?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"Well my back hurts a little from sweeping, but besides that, I'm great."

"Finn, what's it like being a stormtrooper?"

"Boring. I mean sure I had a few friends but not like you and Poe. All stormtroopers are taken when they're born. My parents never even got to look at me. Then we start training at the age of five. Phasma would always boss us around. Maybe that's why she became a captain."

"Okay, what else?"

"Well, we would always have nicknames for eachother. Like this one guy was named FN- 0000, so we called him Zeroes.
Another one was a guy named FN-2999 we called him Nines."

"What did they call you?"

"Eighty seven."

"Awe, that's actually kinda cute."

"Really? I've always hated it. I thought it was boring."

"Well, you are probably the most interesting stormtrooper ever so your name doesn't matter if its boring or not."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Of course. Well I'm tired now, so I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Okay, Peanut."

Peanut was the nickname Finn gave me a while ago. He said I was so small like a peanut and that's how I got it.

I walked back to my chambers, got my sleepware on and took my hair out. Then I layed on the bed and pulled the covers over me.

I wish Kylo was here. No. Ben. I wish Ben was here. Kylo is mean, cruel, a killer, a murderer. Ben is the opposite of that. Then again, what of Ben really was killed by Kylo. What if he was Kylo the whole time. Did I fall in love with Kylo Ren? Either way, I want him back.