Just Mariska's Daughter (BOOK 1)

Almost Giving Up From the Start

Like I said from the beginning, trying to become famous was not easy for me. Oh yeah sure, my mom was on her way to stardom, getting more recognized on tv and film, landing more gigs; some better than others or worse than others, but I pretty much had to start from the very beginning just like her, whether if she was famous or not. As much as I wanted to start as soon as Mom was done with her Gambler movie back in New Mexico, I wasn't exactly given the okay until five years later, when I was around thirteen.

Why did it take that long you might ask? Well to be honest, even though Mom had high hopes for me and wanted me to do whatever I set my mind to, she actually didn't want me to be in the media business. All she wanted to do was protect me and let me have a normal childhood. More so because first of all, I looked a lot like my grandmother Jayne and Mom was worried that I would be pulled into specific roles like her too early in my career. Which leads to her second theory, which was that she knew that the cycle of comparison would repeat itself (it happened to Mom being compared to her famous mother). Today, I now understand the meaning when they say that "mothers knows best." I learned that very early on in my career.

I had to start with taking head shot photos, by far one the most embarrassing moments of my life. I had never really took photos other than when the family and I would have special occasions and we all just said "cheese" with big smiles, but this was totally different. This was seriously the start of my career. My grandpa Mickey knew a guy named Steven Jay who took photos professionally. He did Mom's photos when she was getting started for her big break. The posing and facial expressions were not what I expected. I had to pose in different positions, some weird and uncomfortable. I remember I tried smiling in all of them, but Steven Jay would stop me at most times. "Just look at the camera with no emotion," he would say or, "look away from the camera. Look down for a bit and then look to your left." I used to think that it was all so strange on how the way he wanted me to position myself. I also didn't get to wear makeup, which was a complete bummer, but I wasn't going to complain about it. When Mom and I had looked over all the photos and selected all the ones we agreed on (all but one), the next thing to do was go out for auditions.

I first had "tried" my luck on the popular kid comedy show "All That" from Nickelodeon. They were in need of three new cast members for the upcoming 1998 season. Mom thought it was a great opportunity for me. "I actually started off my acting career in comedy," she once told me. I honestly didn't want to go to this specific audition. I didn't consider myself as someone who was funny, but I had to start from somewhere if I wanted to make it big. We took a plane from Los Angeles to Orlando, Florida. The auditions were going to be held at Nickelodeon Studios.

After we successfully found a parking spot in the over packed Nickelodeon parking lot the next morning after we landed, Mom and I met up with Jessi Garrison, my agent (mom's agent as well at the time) in front of the studios. "Perfect," she cheered as she greeted us. "You're right on time. Let's get in there and make magic!" I frowned. 'Did this lady just say that?' I thought to myself. 'Shoot, I know I'm only 13 and she's like...old, but dang! You didn't have to use that lame phrase. I'm not 5.' The place was completely filled. There was not a lot of walking space and I held onto Mom's hand tightly as we tried to make our way to the elevator. It seemed like most of the people there were trying to do the same thing.

"How come there's no staff members out here to organize this mess?," Mom questioned Jessi after she was almost hit in the face. It was like no one worked there! It looked like everyone was pretty much doing what they pleased. Little kids fighting and chasing each other while parents were trying to control their kids, some failing at it while others got them on check. Not all of the people who were attended in the building were there for the auditions thank goodness (Nickelodeon Studios was also a theme park at the time), but the whole situation that was happening around me was overwhelming. Everybody was talking to everybody and it was so loud that I couldn't even hear myself think.