Minizerk One Shots (DISCONTINUED)

Pun War

Creds to UmbreTheWriter for the idea 💜

Simon

"Did we literally run out of food again?" I asked myself.

"Again?" JJ walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna ask Josh if he wants to come with me to buy food since Vikk is probably sleeping. Do you wanna come?" I asked him.

"Sorry mate, I gotta record a video in a bit."

"Alright then. See ya in bit."

At that JJ left the kitchen leaving me by myself. I had nothing else to do besides shop for food. But first...

"JOSH!!! COME WITH ME TO TESCO RIGHT NOW." I yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

I'm such a great boyfriend.

"We ran out of food again didn't we?" Josh jogged down the stairs and kissed my nose.

"Yeah. So who's driving?" I asked.

"You are. I wanna see you in your glasses." Josh replied grabbing my hand.

"Fine. But you're driving when we get back."

~~~~

Warning: these puns might make you cringe. (Mostly my irl best friend because she's the bee queen of puns in school ;))

Josh and I were currently and for some reason in the vegetable aisle of Tesco. I know it's healthy, but we kinda live on takeaway a bit too much.

"I hope we have enough room in this trolley to put all the groceries in." Josh said quietly and I immediately pick up a pack of mushrooms.

"Josh, I don't think there will be mushroom in this single trolley if you're gonna fill it with Dr. Pepper." He looked at me and cringed at my pun.

"Really Simon? Why are you doing puns right now in a supermarket?"

"I'm kinda bored and no cool Pokémon are showing up at the moment."

"Well then. Lettuce go finish up getting what we need then we can search for some." I cringed at his pun.

"Oh for fuck sake. What did I start?" I laughed.

"You definitely started a pun war Simon."

As we continued shopping, we continued the pun wars. And I must say Josh is really good at it.

"Hey Simon. Olive you from my head tomatoes."

"Aw, Josh. I love you a latte as well." I guess I was pretty decent as well.

"No stop please. You're kiwing me."

"Let's eggxit Tesco before these food puns get too far then."

"But I didn't carrot all if it did." Josh put an arm around me."You know what, as cringy as these food puns are, I think we make a great pear on YouTube, in puns and in our relationship." I lightly pushed him off due to the pear pun.

"Well whatever. Either way I'm gonna beet you to the cashier." I laughed to him whilst running off to the cashier.

As I got to the counter I waited as I see Josh arrive to where I was.

"I still donut get why we're doing a pun war in Tesco." He laughed.

"Well then. Let's do more puns when we get in the car." I smirked at him.

We then paid the groceries and walked back to my car. I sat down in the passenger seat whilst Josh got in ths driver's seat.

"So you know how Pokémon Go is really viral right?" I told Josh and he nodded. "Well, are you a Pokémon? Because I choose you as my wonderful boyfriend." Josh chuckled.

"Well first off, that's a pickup line. Second of all, you already chose me months ago. But whatever. As much as I love you, I want to Raichu a song, but I'm not that good with music." He said and continued driving.

"Yeah but even though you can't write me a song, will I Sylveon your mind? Because you definitely are on mine." I replied putting one of my hands on his thigh.

"Wow. Just wow. Good Eeveening to you as well babe. I can tell you're still tired."

"Hahahaha. Can we go on a magikarpet ride now or is this the magikarpet?"

"These puns aren't making sense anymore! And please stop with the magikarp one."

"I should just keep my meowth shut then so no more shitty puns come out of this meowth." I laughed.

"Or I can just kiss you." Josh told me making me laugh. But he gave me a sweet but short kiss on the lips.

~~~~~

We arrived home with all the groceries and I immediately thought of more puns. But Josh looked like he had some as well.

"Simon, you know you have a pizza my heart, right?" I cringed at his pun.

"Yeah. But I kinda have bean expecting that pun for a while." I replied.

"Well, it's just that I've been thinking about you periodically. You make me feel stronger than iron, and when you smile, your dimples just light my heart up like neon lights."

"Joshy, why are you doing periodic table puns? We're not in school anymore! But still, that's very creative."

"I'm still fawn'd of you my deer."

"Ffs. Animal puns now? Fine, I'll try and quack you up."

"Lol. I find this pun war amoosing."

"Toucan play at that game, Joshy."

"Are you kitten me right now?"

"No I'm not. And before we forget, let's put away the food before it gets spoiled."

"Oh yeah."

(I'm really bad at puns and endings)

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I hope you somewhat liked this, mostly Umbre cuz she's awesome 💜