four walls (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)

twø

"She was...Was my fiancée." He corrects himself. "It's been 10 years, s-so yeah." He stutters, nervously rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans.
"Wow. Nice to meet you. As you probably already know, I'm Tyler." He shakes my hand firmly.
"Yes, hi." I say briefly, before directing my attention back to Josh. "I didn't mean to come here without warning, but I promise there's a good reason behind it. Is there any chance I could explain myself to you. I understand you're busy but--"
"No no, it's fine. We have a couple of days before we're back on the road again. Would you like to come back to mine and catch up?" Josh smiles hopefully.
"Of course, I'd love to!"
"Great. I can drop you back at your house afterwards as well. Let me just grab a few things and we can go." He jogs backstage, leaving Tyler and I alone.

"So..." He starts. "Josh has only mentioned you to me once. He ended up crying. A lot. What'd you do to him, man?" He asks, raising a brow. I gulp. I was never the type to pour my heart out to a stranger, though clearly, through his songs, Tyler did.

"Well, something happened. I had to be taken to safe house in Illinois. All my communications had to be cut off, even Josh. I cried for years, knowing there was nothing I could do or say that could fix it." I sigh.
"He really loves you, though. I can see it in his eyes. He's never looked at anyone that way before. Which is why I need you to promise you're not gonna break his heart. Because honestly, I don't think he'll ever recover from it." Tyler peers at me in complete seriousness.

"I promise. And I speak in all sincerity when I say the only thing I intend on gaining from Josh is his love. I just need you to understand my intentions are pure. I know how close you two are, and I don't want to be invasive of that."
"Good. You're kind. I can see why Josh chose to love you. And I wouldn't mind if you started hanging out with him more. Since I married my wife, Jenna, he's been third-wheeling a lot." He chuckles softly.
"Thank you. And I can see why you and Josh are best friends."
Josh comes back with his keys and jacket in hand.
"Ready?" He questions. I nod. "Ok, let's go."
"It was a pleasure meeting you, Avery." Tyler waves.
"You too." I wave back.

We enter his car in an unprecedented silence. Though once he starts the engine, he immediately jumps into a question.
"Remember when we went to see Blink 182 here, and this guy called Xander was blind drunk, but he thought you was his sister?" Josh giggles.
"Yeah, I remember." I scoff. "That was hilarious. Especially when he puked on your shoes."
"I beg to differ..." Josh grumbles jokingly. We laugh together for the first time in ten years.

A brief silence arose for the second time. Josh started to look at me, then drew his eyes back on the road. He smiles, but it was noticeably sad.
"What is it?" I ask. He rubs his neck.
"I don't know. It's kinda sad to see you like this. It's clear that you've gone through a lot."
"It's okay." I say, brushing it off as if it was nothing. But it wasn't. Some nights it hurts to breathe. Knowing that no matter what you did it couldn't change what'd happened. For years I'd been so lonely and scared. Nothing about that was ok.

"I want to help you. Please explain what happened."
"Ok. I'll try my best...So on the day it happened- the last day that I saw you...I came back from school, and went home. As soon as I entered, my parents ushered me into my room. My mom said to me 'We owe a very dangerous man lots of money that we can't pay back. Hide in your closet. Don't come out, no matter what. We're sorry. We love you.'." I take a deep breath. "A while later, I heard banging, then gunshots, then silence." I pause to gather up the strength to continue.
"My parents were murdered. I got taken to Illinois where they changed my name to Ellie Pepper. Everything I came to know was gone- even myself." I sigh, it felt good to get that off my chest.

Josh blinks at me.
"Ave...I'm so so sorry." His voice aches distressingly.
"It's all over now. I'm just glad I got to see you again."
"Me too. I'm going to offer you my full service. Anything you need, you name it."
"Thank you so much. I think the only thing I need right now is you.

"What was it like, y'know...without me o-or...anyone?" He asks nervously.
"Honestly, it was the worst part of it all. Nothing could be the same again. I felt so lonely. All I that I knew was taken away from me. Everything I had was gone...except you. You are my sanity, Josh. Without you, there'd be no reason to come back or continue on with my life." I threw my heart out to him as if it was in the buckled up in the back of his car.
He swallows dryly before speaking.
"It's sad, because all this time you were hurting, you were alone. But I- I had Tyler. You, you had no one." His words quiver upsettingly. "I'm sorry." He says, wiping a tear from his eye.
"All these years I thought you'd moved on from me or something. But to think you've been hurting and thinking of me, effects me more than I thought it would."

I didn't reply. I mean, there was nothing else to say. He was sat here, next to me. That's what I've wanted for 10 years, so I let my mind rest and soaked in each moment.

We pull into the driveway and enter Josh's house.
"Welcome to my humble abode." Josh extents his arm, presenting his barely decorated walls.
"It's nice." I put simply, idly stood in the doorway.
"I don't get to live here much; my main house is in L.A. But I got one here to be able to spend days with Tyler when we're not touring."
"Which one feels more like home?" I ask. He shrugs.
"Neither really. To me, home is when I'm with Tyler." He looks down at his feet before changing the subject.
"He really means a lot to you, then." Josh nods his head.
"I'd like to show you something." He grabs my hand and leads me upstairs into his room.

On the walls holds pictures of us together from ages 5 to 17.
"I come here when I miss you. It doesn't help it hurt any less, but sometimes I just need to be reminded of these beautiful memories we once shared..." His lips curl upwards crookedly. "I even kept the ring." He points to the ring sat on a cabinet. "I tried to move on, but I couldn't. Love is demanding like that."
My eyes become all teary, and I barely managed to say
"I kept mine too."
Josh's eyes fill up with content.
"Really?" His voice cracks. "I always thought that you would've gotten rid of it. Thank you for keeping it." He walks over to the cabinet and picks up the ring and starts down at it meticulously. "I couldn't get rid of it, y'know. Truthfully, I thought about throwing it out on a few occasions, but then I'd remember it doesn't just signify our past- it could also signify our future. And I think that part of the reason I kept onto this ring for so long was because I knew letting it go would mean letting go of you." He lifts his head up, drawing his eyes to mine, smiling foolishly.

-----
Soon enough, we find ourselves laying side by side on his bed, just speaking our minds.
"When you left, you broke my heart. And for a while you were the only person I'd let myself get hurt by, time and time again. Looking back, though, it was stupid really. Deep down I knew you'd always come back." Josh scoffs.
"So...you still love me?" I ask.
"Of course I do. No amount of time could stop me from loving you."

And like that, the concept of time didn't matter to me anymore.The ache of the wait, transformed into a serenity of passion. Because it doesn't matter if we'd been laying here for a minute, or all night. It felt like a lifetime.

Memories branched back together. The darkness seemed more clear than any light could provide. Things made more sense when I was with him. I now understood why it hurt so much to leave someone you love; it's because you know without them, they'd be no one else to love you back. Josh is just a reminder that people are worth loving and worth holding onto. I'm so glad neither of us let go.

He entwines his hand into mine, brushing his fingertips along my palm. A sense of security rushed over me. And in these short moments, I hold all the value of weightlessness. If he wasn't holding my hand, I swear I would just float away.