I watched the droplets pelt the glass in a rhythm unknown to my being. Sitting in a cafe on a Sunday morning not thinking, just feeling, the moments come and go. Then I saw a beautiful young woman enter and I was immediately drawn to her...sensing the greatest sadness. Her eyes were swollen from shunned tears as she spoke softly to the barista requesting her order. She ordered the same coffee and pastry I did. I momentarily looked down at my untouched plate.
She sat at a table, in a darkened corner behind me and once settled, began to weep in a familiar way only those who are broken recognize with all the heart and soul. Instantly, I was struck with a intense sensation. Turning to her, I went over to sit next to her calmly and held out my hand slowly for her to grasp. She looked up slowly, her fragility was draped upon her like a silken veil, shimmering with her beauty from within. An exquisite energy passed between us, if not through us and as it did, the silent song of weeping slowly faded into the smile of her eyes.
As my soft brown eyes met hers, she read them perfectly and began to pour out the love of her fragile heart in pain and broken by the man she though she knew and loved. She spilled forth her ocean in a tidal wave as I watched, held her hand and soothed her soul. Once she ebbed, a barista inquired if we needed anything.I softly asked for some hot tea and tissues. She happily obliged us an removed any discarded items. The whole time, we kept holding hands as if conjoined. I smiled sweetly at this realization before finding her beautiful face and expressing the following thoughts and feeling in a stream of pure love to her.
Although we are strangers - I began in a voice calm and soft enough for her to hear - I know your story in a different version...my own. The difference in our stories is very clear to me. It is why I am here and how someone so precious not only needs someone to listen, hold your hand as if holding your soul but to see what you cannot see in this moment of pain. I was in love with a man I poured every ounce of love into only to be rejected, abused, beaten, and essentially left for dead on every level of imagining. I healed, slowly, so slowly I thought it would take another lifetime to be happy much less be loved. As a woman, I felt there could be no love to ever touch the deepest parts of me.
I was loving again, yes, more than ever to so many people yet, I felt like a hypocrite because deep inside I was fearful of my own love being returned. I paused as I saw her eyes widen we empathy and pure love...again the wave passed through us but now...now, it evolved into a warm soft caress against the shoreline. Before continuing, I sipped my tea and wet my lips. She asked quietly - What happened? I meant, what happened next? I looked into her hazel eyes with flecks of honey and gold - I fell in love. We both smiled at the same time, as if gazing into a mirror, feeling her hope building. I squeezed her hand briefly and continued - You see, loving no matter the degree eventually returns to you and it may not be the same person but in some ways it is the kind of love you give.
The funny thing is, at the time, I had no clue because it was so alien, so unknown to my being, I did not recognize it. It was foreign to my heart and soul, yet this amazing person this man persisted. At times, I even told him he didn't love me because it was new. I denied myself the beauty before me. You told me your story and in it, you described being so in love and the things he did for you. Anyone who can show you their deepest hopes as well as, their fears is worthy of your love. However, we need to accept the fact we deserve it and accept everything, not just the good things. You said you both wrote poetry after making love. He would warm your side of the bed before going to sleep. You told me he would run to get your favorite coffee clear across town whenever you had a bad day of work.
These moments are gifts of love and although he is not here now or has left you...it is safe to say he loved you and he still loves you now. We don't just shut off love unless we are hurt and some of us feed ourselves denial in order to avoid pain or loving.
Still hopeful, she smiled and leaned closer - The man I fell in love with, showed me love is not perfect yet, all the ways he loves me let me know...I was truly lovable as is. He taught me how to love for the first time ever in my whole life, up to that moment. He won me by showing me real love, making me feel like a flower in his garden.
I blossomed and opened although haunted and fearful from painful memories, from a past no longer relevant. I learned to let go, move on and eventually, love with everything I have. This time, I didn't close, I stood firm and allowed fear to pass through. Best part was I loved MORE. Is this man, the one who loved you with you now? - she asked with such hope and promise. I smiled and rubbed her hand with both of mine. I looked down and hid my eyes under long thick lashes for a moment. He - I started with a heavy tone - fell in love with another. I felt her squeeze my hands between hers.
The wave now became a steady stream of loving energy as our hearts were agape. There was silence for a bit as our hearts had their own conversation. Then I found words again and told her what happened and why. In the end - I said smiling - he is completely happy and the gifts he left me are my treasures to keep. I have not closed and remain open yet, today, you...your beautiful face and sorrow reminded me of something precious. What is that? - she asked. You reminded me I still have hope and one day will be loved like you were, like I was from this amazing man, and how deserving we are of such precious love.
We exchanged contact information before heading off in different directions. Once a month we meet at the same cafe. It's been five years now and she is married to the same man she was heart broken about and they have a toddler they named after me.
I am here smiling as I sip my coffee waiting for her arrival, namesake, in tow reveling in the love I have. I am warm, as I empty the cup of love I have before me. As I do, my mobile buzzes and a message appears. I am beaming with a glow and type a message in return.
Him: Babe, I miss you already. Will pick you up later...and BTW, I love you.
Me: I miss you too...not for long. You are greedy! Love that and BTW...I love you more. *happy face*
Him: The gauntlet has been thrown and the challenge accepted. Can't wait to prove you wrong. *kisses*
Me: Don't talk about it, be about it. LOL The battle for love rages on.
Him: Yes! Always...for you and with you, only you. Deal?
Me: Deal. *kisses*
