"Sorry in advance okay?
Sorry for the times I'll hurt you,
I promise I won't mean to.
Sorry for loving you,
but maybe not enough.
Sorry for the moments I seem distant because I haven't had any time to myself.
Sorry.
Sorry for being silent and not talking about my problems.
Sorry for expecting you to know what I'm thinking and getting mad when you don't.
Sorry for all of that.
Look I'm sorry if you ever feel like I'm pushing you away.
I'm sorry for doing that.
I'm sorry I'm not good at keeping people around and holding it against them when they leave.
I'm sorry to have internalized so much sadness and fear that I have to take a step back when you whisper 'love'.
I'm sorry for running away but I need to breath.
I'm a fish out of water I don't belong here but I'm trying.
I'm trying, and I'm sorry."
I said, my voice cracks,
the tears burning my eyes.
"But you aren't here...
...with me."
I said again,
now holding onto
the gravestone.
