I just wanted to be free

A fallen angel lost enough to say goodbye

It's 8 in the morning, Kier, Drew and Shane were up early, Luke wasn't home at that time because he was visiting family. „Where's Laurence?" asked Kier with a sad sounding voice while taking a sip of his coffee. „I'll try to get him" Shane answered, then he went to Laurences room with a cup of coffee in his hand. He knocked on the door but got no reply, „Typical Laurence" he thought while walking in. „Hey Laurence" he said and Laurence, who was still in bed answered shortly „hey", „I brought you coffee" Shane continued with a little smile on his face. With a cold voice, Laurence replied „thanks". „Are you joining us for Breakfast today?" Shane asked in order to try to make him eat breakfast with them, as he's not eating properly anymore since the death of Hendrix, but Laurence just shook his head. „I'll bring you something then, you need to eat, you haven't eaten anything in ages, you only drink your coffee, but nothing else and thaht's unhealthy so please eat something" he said. With no sense of emotion in his voice, Laurence answered „Nope, And if i die what does it matter? What do I even matter, noone needs me anymore and now please leave me alone!" As Laurence wished, Shane left the room with his head down, not saying anything.

As Drew saw Shane coming back into the living room, he asked, joking „Wow Shane you look like you saw a corpse" Shane wasn't in the mood to joke so he just said with a sad voice „If no miracle happens soon, I will see a corpse! The only thing he does is, he's drinking coffee if one of us brings it, but he doesn't drink anything else, also he doesn't eat, he basically doesn't do anything! It has to stop, I can't see him suffering like this" He couldn't control himself anymore, The tears just ran down his face while talking. As Kier, who was already next to him, noticed it, he pulled him into a close hug. „Don't worry Shane it will get better, you know him, nothing can kill him" Kier forced himself to a little smile while saying this."

2 Weeks later, not much has changed, sometimes, when they forced him enough, Laurence did eat a little, but not enough, so he slowly began to look like a living corpse. One Morning, Kier was preparing breakfast. As usual, Luke wasn't home,he has been home for a few days, but then went away again. A moment later, Shane came into the kitchen „Morning Kier" he muttered and Kier replied „Morning Shane, I'm preparing Laurences favorite food for breakfast in the hope he eats something, then" Shane didn't listen to Kier properly and continued muttering „I have the uncomfortable feeling that something is very wrong here!" „Like What?" Kier asked, concerned and Shane answered „I don't even know, but this feeling scares the living shit out of me, by the way where is Drew?" „Right here" Drew comes into the kitchen too. At first Shane doesn't notice Drew coming in "Morning Kier, Morning Shane" he said, which made Shane finally notice him „Ah! Morning Drew! I literally just asked for you!" Drew giggled lightly and then went back to serious with the question „What do you think will happen with Grandomina, Laurence didn't write anything in ages!" Shane answered „I don't think he's gonna give up on it, you know Grandomina is his baby, he wouldn't ever give up on it!"

While Shane and Drew were discussing this, Kier picked up Laurences breakfast and a cup of coffee for him, turned to Shane and Drew „I'll try to make him eat something" and walked towards Laurences room. Because Shane and Drew were only listening halfheartly, they just nodded. As Kier arrived at the door to Laurences room, a strange feeling overcame him. A feeling that made him think „Something is wrong here, very wrong, it gives me the feeling to not want to go in, but what worse could await me, than a living corpse called Laurence Beveridge. I have to pull myself together and just go in there!" With these thoughts in his head, he took a deep breath and knocked at the door. As expected, he got no reply so he slowly moved his hand to the door handle and hesitated a moment before going in.

  Inside of Laurences room, he sees him in the bed „at least he sleeps at night" he thought walked slowly and silently, making sure that he won't wake him up, towards the bed, places the coffee and breakfast on the bedside table. After that, he sat down next to him, softly stroke his pale cheek „Laurence wake up i got you coffee and made you your favorite food for breakfast" but Laurence didn't wake up. Kier looked at his best friend and former band mate, it took him a Moment to realise why he doesn't wake up, he died during the night. Kier couldn't hold back his tears and released a long and loud scream while crying, he continued screaming Laurences Name while shaking his body and begging him to wake up „Laurence no! You mustn't be dead! No! just no!" He threw the breakfast and coffee that was supposed to be for Laurence, at the wall and continued to scream hysterically. 

Suddenly Shane winced „What is happening, Did Laurence just threw his breakfast at the wall!?" Drew added „And Kier is yelling something, I don't really understand what he's yelling, but it sounds like he's making him a scene for not eating" Shane replied „Like we just heard, it's not helping at all! Come on Drew! Let's go in there and help Kier- He's obviously overwhelmed" Drew nodded and silently said „Let's go then."

Meanwhile Kier calmed down a little and sat on the bed, holding Laurences body in his arms, crying uncontrollably.

  „I'm waking up our little sleepy head" Kier said, giggling. Drew, Shane and Luke couldn't help but laugh at Kiers words. Giggling at his own words, Kier went into Laurences room, He sat down on his bed and softly stroke his cheek and softly says „Hey, wake up sweetheart, it's time, We have to rehearse, Tour starts tomorrow!" Laurence slowly opened his eyes, looking at Kier in a grumpy way. „Oh shit he looks like he's gonna kill me" Kier thought and added „Coffee is already waiting for you!" As he heard the word „Coffee" Laurence quickly got up and got dressed and as usual, he ignored everyone until he got his coffee.  

  The timids arrived at Laurences room, Shane starred at the door, as if it was the gate to hell. „Drew I'm scared to go in, I have a strange feeling that tells us to stay away from here" he whimpered. Actually, Drew had the same feeling, but didn't wanna show it to anyone, said „Head up Shaney, We need to help Kier out and what worse could happen to us than getting yelled at?" Encouraged by Drews words, Shane knocked at the door, but the only reply he got was a heartbreaking sobbing. Shockey by this heartbreaking sobbing, Shane looked at Drew „Whats happening in there?" Starting to get worried, Drew just answered quietly „If we continue hesitating we won't ever find out so come on, open that fucking door!" As Drew told him to, Shane slowly opened the door and went inside. For a few seconds, He looked around the room, until he spotted Kier on the bed. „What's wrong?" He asked with a shaky voice. It took a few seconds, that felt like hours ,until Kier replied sobbing „He's Dead!" Shane looked at Laurences lifeless body for a little moment, then he buried his face into Drews Chest and started to cry, Drew hugged Shane tightly.