Gold Dust

chapter eight: a crushing blow

It had happened. I know I had constantly thought about it, but I never would have gone through with it. I would have never broken up with Antonio as much as I hated his business. I would have never done this to him. I would have never ended it like this. I wasn’t that cruel. It felt like I was back in square one all over again.

It was just like when Neil had left. Was there something wrong with me? Is that why the two men that I loved and cared about left me?

“Robert,” Leon said knocking on the door. I rubbed my eyes, sliding out of the comforter to open the door. Leon glanced at me up and down, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“What Leon?” I mumbled groggily.

“You look like shit,” he retorted. “A big pile of crap. Come on! Please don’t do this again! It’s like Neil. You are too hot to be acting like this, Robert. Too hot! No more afternoon naps! No more moping around! No more woe is me because my boyfriend dumped me! You and I are leaving.”

I groaned, walking back into my bed. Leon followed me, not giving up that easily. Did he think that I honestly wanted to go out again? I just broke up with Antonio and got kicked out of his house. Being around horny gay men was not going to lift my spirits up. It was just going to make me think of Antonio even more.

“Leon! I don’t feel like partying! I don’t feel like jumping back into the game! I don’t drink,” I sighed covering my head with my pillow.

“And guys are into that goody two shoes behavior of yours,” Leon said patting me on the back. “A one night stand and you’ll be back in no time.”

“I don’t want sex,” I snorted.

“Now I know you’re sick,” Leon said snatching the pillow from me. “If you don’t come out with me, I’ll tell Vivian all about that time you and I –“

“Fine! Fine! I’ll go, but I won’t be happy about it,” I interjected quickly. Leon gave me a devious grin, as I rose out of bed, slacking clothes on. I really did not want to go out. But Leon was right, I couldn’t stay cooped up in his guest room forever.

That evening he and I went out to a bar nearby. He promised that we wouldn’t go clubbing. We would just stay at this bar, listen to some karaoke, while he had a few drinks and maybe hit on one or two guys. Knowing Leon, two of us would be going in but three of us would be coming out. Leon and I sat a small round table off to the center of the place. I sat there as Leon scoped out the room, glancing around for any guy that seemed suitable to take home.

“This is a bust,” Leon groaned. “There are like no hot guys here besides us.”

“Maybe we should just go back home,” I suggested playing with the straw in my glass of water. Leon rolled his eyes at me.

“You are such a party pooper sometimes,” Leon groaned poking me. “Could you at least pretend to be having fun with me?”

“Nope, I’m out here against my own will,” I snorted. “What’s so fun about this? Plus these people suck and they can’t sing at all.”

Leon laughed as I took a sip from my water, my eyes flickering over to a guy at a bar, who had been staring at me for the past ten minutes. I glanced back at Leon, focusing my attention on him. But every now and then, I’d glance back over at the bar to see his eyes still focused on mine. Was he working for Antonio? Was he still having me followed?

“I’ll get you another beer,” I offered Leon, walking quickly over to the bar, where the man was standing. He grinned at me as soon as I ordered a beer. What was his deal?

“Can I help you?” I asked turning towards him. “Why do you keep staring at me?”

“No! No! I – I was trying to figure out what kind of drink you like so I can send one over,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to look like a creep. I’m sorry. Jeez – I just thought you were hot.”