Finding Him

18

I went back asleep at 3 and woke up at 7 with a knock at my window. Great. I was going to look like crap the whole time Grayson was were. I heard another knock and decided to get up.

"Yes?" I ask opening the window.

"Did you just wake up?" He asked looking at me. Crap now I know I do.

"Umm, no." I lied.

I backed up so Grayson could get in the window.

"I took a shower so I didn't smell like a foot." Grayson said as he got up.

"Oh don't worry, I look like a foot." I laughed.

"No you don't." He said shoving me.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask sitting on the bed.

"Do you want to play that 'get to know each other' game again?" He asked.

"Sure, but I get to go first!" I said. He nodded and I thought. "What's your biggest fear?" I finally asked him.

"Dying." He said quickly.

"Cool." I said.

"Cool?" He questioned. "You're not afraid of dying?"

"Not really." I replied.

"How so?" He asked.

"One of the scariest feelings in life is when you realize you aren't afraid to die. You don't look both ways before crossing the street anymore. When you take pills, you take however many come out. You're not scared of the creepy creaking noises in your house because you hope they'll get you. When you get in the car, you don't bother to buckle your seat anymore. You seek out dangerous things because you want to die. You stop caring about yourself. Nothing about you matters anymore, and at some point you look at yourself and become scared. You're a a monster. One who only wants to hurt itself, and that is scary." I pieced together.

"So what you're saying is you're afraid of...?" He asked in disbelief

"Myself." I sat looking at him.

"You should never be afraid of yourself, because that's all you have. That's the only thing that can help you in hard times." Grayson said.

"That's why I need you." I said. "I don't have anyone that cares about me. No one I can count on, because no one cares." I repeated.

"I told you I care." He said.

"There is a lot of things I haven't told you Grayson, and I don't think there will be enough time for me to tell you all of this." I told him.

"Just tell me little by little." I said in a joking laugh.

"Grayson I'm serious." I said looking at him.

"Ok, tell me little by everyday." He said holding my hand.

"I can't. If I do you will be here till like 1, and we have school tomorrow." I said.

"What about after school?" He asked.

"Don't you have football?" I asked him.

"Shit." He said letting go of my ands and flaying his in the air. "I have time now." He added.

"Grayson I really can't." I looked over to my side.

"Here it's 7:09. We have from here till 1." He said grabbing me chin making me look at him.

"Ok, but you promise you can not tell anyone! You are the only person I have told this to, so if it goes around, I know it was you! Grayson I'm being totally serious with you right now. No fun. And no games." I looked deep into his eyes.

"I promise." He said in a stone voice.
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You guys are going to find out what happened to her!!! So excided to write it, and I hope you're excided to read it.
Peace