Life Rants - the diary of a young teenage girl

F-A-M-I-L-Y

There's many different definitions for the word "family".
• a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage
• sisting of parents and children living together in a household
•a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy
I could go on, and on.
As my life has been progressing, I've discovered that each definition of family, applies to some portion of my family, like different groups of my "family" members act upon each definition.
•There's the people that love and care for the rest of the family, the people that would suffer, or even die for another member.
• There's the people that act like they care, for the views of the public, or the views of others, but when it's time that you need them the most, they disappear, or they refuse to even notice your presence.
• There's the people that don't want to be associated with the family at all, the people that only consider themselves as family because of the blood-relations, or simply because they don't have a choice.
• There's the people that act like a group of criminals in the family. The ones that have one goal, to bring other family members down, and usually family members that they envy, or are extremely jealous of.
There's honestly so much more I could say, but I think my point is pretty clear at this point. In every family, there's the good, and the bad, the ones who love, and the ones who envy.
It's extremely difficult to be in a family with people of every category, but if you live near the bad, or the enviers, then life may seem almost impossible.
As a young teenager, I think it gets harder and harder everyday, to wake up and smile, when the people who should be loving and supporting you, are the same ones trying to destroy you.
It gets more painful each day, to know that your own family members are plotting against you everyday, and trying to ruin your reputation, and trying to destroy your friendships and relations with any other people you know.
Some days, I have the confidence to get up and be myself, and to conquer the day ignoring the negativity, but other days, it seems nearly impossible to even crack a smile, because my heart feels so heavy, and often, I end up feeling guilty, for my life, and for my existence.
But one thing I try to do, is when I wake up, I say a prayer, and I pray for forgiveness for my sins, and I pray for forgiveness of their sins as well, and I pray that God cleanses our hearts, as a family.
Even though it seems to me as if nothing is changing, God works in mysterious ways, and God gives me the little confidence I need to make it through the day without breaking apart.
For those of you who are not religious, and those of you who are, reading this, there is hope, hope for the better, it may be extremely hard, and painful right now, but someday, even if takes months, or years, things will come out as they aren't seen. People will see the true colors of the ones hurting you and trying to break you apart, everything will turn around on them someday, just, keep, hoping.