Raising Ema-Lyn

Chapter 6 - "I'm definitely not her mother."

His kiss was soft and gentle. Almost as if he was afraid he was going to break me. He lifted me up on the counter. Then he stopped. He pulled away and walked across the room. I just watched him trying to catch my breath. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I can’t do this.”

I was just flat out confused. He kissed me. Not the other way around. He made the decision. He chose to stay here. He chose to come back.

I hopped off the counter. “You can’t do what?” I asked, getting angry. “You can’t deal with me because I have too much to deal with? Because I have a kid? Because I have to care for my sister too? Because you can’t have the life you want with me?” I had walked up to him by now. “YOU KISSED ME! Not the other way around.” I screamed, voicing my thoughts from earlier.

I put my hands over my face and leaned against the wall. “Maybe you should just leave,” I whispered into my hands. I was amazed he even heard me.

“Dani,” he said softly, pulling my hands away from my face. When I looked at him, he looked hurt.

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I didn’t mean at all. I meant tonight. Just hearing your voice drives me crazy. And kissing you, it was the most amazing feeling in the world, because it was with you. I just feel like I might hurt you after tonight. I’m afraid we’ll go too far and you’ll wake up regretting it. I know you. Even if you wanted to stop you wouldn’t tell me because you know I want to.”

I almost cried hearing him say that. I threw my arms around him and mumbled into his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I’m scared. It becomes instinct to get mad. I took all my anger I had built up out on you.”

He pulled away and wiped the tears that had escaped off my face. “Come on,” he said pulling me to my room. “You need to go to bed.”

He got me in my room and sat down on the bed. “I’ll be right back,” I told him, walking into my bathroom. I quickly changed, brushed my teeth, and took my make-up off. When I walked back into the room he was looking at the pictures on my dresser. I heard him mumble something, but I didn’t catch what it was. I cleared my throat and he jumped back. He smiled sheepishly at me.

“Having fun?” I asked, looking at the picture he was holding.

“Kinda, it’s amazing how much Kimi looks like you, when you were her age.”

I laughed. “I know. It’s almost as if she’s my daughter and not my sister.”

“How old were you when she was born?”

“Five.” I took the picture from him and set it back on the dresser. “I’m definitely not her mother.”

“Hey, can you call my phone? I can’t find it,” he asked, checking the bed.

“Sure,” I dialed his number walking out to the kitchen.

When I got to the kitchen I heard Tim McGraw singing the chorus to She’s My Kind of Rain.

“She's the sunset's shadow. She's like Rembradt's light. She's the history that's made at night. She's my lost companion. She's my dreamin' tree, together in this brief eternity.”

I picked his phone up off the counter and walked back to my room. “You mean this phone?” I asked.

He paused and looked at me, “yeah that one. Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked taking his phone.

I walked back to my dresser to put my hair up before answering. After I was done, I turned to face him. “So,” I started, smirking. “Who all has that ringtone?”