Another Reason To Live (Watty Awards 2014)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

"What's your favorite color, Gerard?"

I glanced up from my paper through my eyelashes to see a thoughtful look on his pale, yet healthy looking face.  I paused my pencil's stroking and waited for his answer.

"Probably black," he quietly replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he gave me his obvious answer..  He probably knew that I wasn't surprised by it either.

"Favorite band?" I asked as I resumed my work.

I heard a loud sigh leave his mouth, so I looked back up to see his eyes squeezed tight.  A surge of worry shot through my body, thinking that he was in pain, but I realized that he was only thinking very hard.

"That's a tough question to answer," he concluded, opening his eyes again to meet mine.  "There's a lot."

I smiled and said, "Okay, then name your top three."

More thinking.  I could almost see the sea of band names floating around in his head, flashing before his eyes as he attempted to sort through them and categorize them.  

"The Misfits are definitely in my top three.  Same with Iron Maiden.  And I'd say," he paused, thinking again, "third place tie between David Bowie and Queen."

"Interesting," I mumbled to myself as I continued working.

"You're not doing homework, are you?"

I instinctively tilted by math textbook upward so Gerard wouldn't be able to see anything that was on my paper.  "What makes you say that?"

"Well for  one, I can tell by the movement of your pencil that you're not writing," he smirked.  "It actually looks more like you're...drawing?"

I could feel my cheeks starting to turn pink.  I wasn't planning on showing him my drawing until it was completely finished.  It was close now, and I was hoping to work on it in secret as I visited Gerard, but I also knew that that risked him knowing what I was really up to.  That's where the random questions came in.

"Yes, I'm drawing."

His eyes lit up when I said this, almost like a proud parent.  "Can I see it?" he smiled.

I glanced down at the drawing, which at first seemed to be nearly complete, but with the idea of showing it to Gerard clouding my thoughts, I could suddenly pick out all sorts of little details that needed to be made or fixed, or that theshading on a particular structure needed to be fixed.  The little flaws started to stick out to me like a sore thumb, so I declined his request.

"It's not done yet.  I'd rather show it to you when I'm positive that it's complete," I added when he seemed somewhat disappointed.

But he seemed to understand after I gave him my justification.  I could tell that he was very curious, but he would just have to wait.

I adjusted my posture in my chair by uncrossing my legs and tucking them under me instead.  As I began shading another part of the playground structure, I asked Gerard, "What's the most eye opening experience that you've ever gone through?"

I could feel the change in atmosphere almost immediately.  I couldn't exactly put my finger on it, but I had a feeling that it was probably a subject that was better left untouched.

Looking up at Gerard, I saw that he had closed his eyes, but this time, it wasn't in deep thought.  The only reason why I knew that he hadn't slipped back into his coma was due to the fact that he had sucked his lips into his mouth.

"Gerard?"

"I was about fifteen years old," he said, opening his eyes.  His face was expressionless - no anger or sadness was present, yet he wasn't happy either. 

"I was walking through town one night and some guy put a gun to my head.  Held me up with a .357 magnum and made me lay on the ground, like he was going to execute me."

Instinctively, my jaw had dropped, but I quickly re-closed my mouth and put my pencil down.  "Oh my god."

He shrugged and looked over at me, finally meeting my gaze.  "I wasn't hurt or anything.  It could've turned out a lot worse than how it did."

"Yeah, but I can't imagine going through that.  That must've been horrible, Gerard.  I'm sorry you had to go through that."

He shook hs head again.  "I'm not."

His response took me by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I told you that that was the most eye opening event I've been through for a reason.  That night made me realize two things.  One, there are some shitty people in the world who have some messed up views on what they think is right and wrong.

"But no matter how ugly the world gets or how stupid it shows me it is, I always have faith that there are good people out there.  Instead of letting that night change my view of the world, it gave me a stronger sense of hope that the world will become a better place someday."

Speechless.  I couldn't think of anything to say to him.  It seemed like he was the only person on Earth that could find any sort of light in such a dark situation.  Lying in a hospital bed, he could probably come up with some sort of bright side.

"I really wish I had your positivity, Gerard," I commented, slightly shaking my head in disbelief.  "I know no one else who has the same out look on life as you."

A wry smile appeared on his lips.  "Scarlette, I know you must think I'm some happy-go-lucky guy that always sees the greatness in things, but I haven't always been like this."

"What changed?"

He quietly sighed and replied, "That's another story for another day.  For now, I kinda want to listen to some music."

He looked at me with his big hazel eyes.  "Do you still have that Queen CD with you?"

Slightly disappointed, yet still curious, I nodded and accepted the fact that I wouldn't be hearing a part of his back story tonight.  I slipped my drawing into my book and closed it before returning it to my backpack.

I retrieved the CD player, along with the requested CD, and returned to my place, where Gerard was patiently waiting for me to sit back down.

Once I popped the CD into the player, I handed him an ear bud and placed the other in my own ear. He smiled at me and laid back down on the bed, closing his eyes.  I started the CD and together, we sat there listening to the entire album before Gerard fell back asleep.

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