Bleeding Hearts

epilogue

EPILOGUE

two years later

Being away from home had its perks.

The obvious reason was that I was independent, finally in control of my life without the help of my parents. I was also finding myself so much easier than I had been when I was still in high school - because college was about taking the things that you thought you were good at and molding it into a future. At least, thats what my roommate, Michelle, had decided to live her life by.

But for me, the most significant perk was that I was as far away from Ford Turner as possible.

For once in my life I wasn't held down by the chain that is and always will be Ford Turner. I was free, free to experiment with my sexuality, free to go on dates with different types of men, free to have a replenished heart. I had found a boyfriend, Nathaniel, and we've been going steady for the past year. If I hadn't left home, I doubt that I'd be over Ford by now.

But I had to come back - if only for a week. I missed my parents and my home town and everything about where I grew up that when tickets for the holidays were finally on sale I didn't think twice before purchasing them. I made Nathaniel stay away because I knew that I wasn't ready for him to meet my parents and hear the sad tale of my high school years. No, there would be a time and place for that and it wasn't now.

"I'm glad you came back, sweetheart." Dad had grown a beard and mustache - both grey - and gained a few pounds since I had last seen him, but other than that he was the same. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd come back."

I chuckled, following him up the driveway and towards the house to escape the harsh winter weather. "Neither did I."

"Is it because of us?" Dad wondered. "Or ..."

"Of course it isn't you guys." We had reached the front door, dad opening it and letting the warm air engulf us as I shut the door behind us. "And as for the 'or', absolutely - depending on which 'or' you're talking about."

"The 'or' across the street or the 'or' six feet under?"

At even the mention of Brady, I felt a painful twinge in my heart. I would never be over his death, no matter how many counsellors I saw or how many miles I tried to put between us. He was always there - inside of me - and there was no way to shake him. So when I grimaced while hanging up my coat and shaking off my boots, I wasn't surprised to hear my father try to backpedal.

"I mean—"

"Both." I sighed, already done with this conversation. I loved my father, but his ability to care about others was going too far, at least right now. "I'm gonna head upstairs."

And with that, I was taking two steps at a time to my bedroom until I was back in its protective white walls. My parents hadn't touched it since I left - my bed was still unmade, dresser still had clothes spilling out of it, and my mirror needed a good spray of Windex when I had arrived a few days ago - and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had dropped my neatness after Brady left, along with my singing and songwriting. They all reminded me of him, and that hurt.

Laying down on my bed, I pulled my phone out and dialed Nathaniel's number. He was my best friend, boy friend, and booty call all wrapped into one. Another thing that dropped after Brady were my friends. Kendra switched schools, Landon got lost in a world of drugs and laziness, and Ford threw himself into sports even more so than before. None of us talked ever again, and to this day I have no idea where any of them are. But, sadly, I think it's for the best. We couldn't continue after Brady even if we tried - he would always be the glue that held us together.