12 Days Of Summer Camp

Day 1

So the day before camp I wasn’t really to fussed about going, I had been to this place in previous years for about 3 days and I knew how horrible it had been but for some reason, I wasn’t at all worried about it. THAT was my first mistake. Because of this, I was unable to prepare for the horrid days ahead. You’re probably thinking, “Why didn’t you just not go?” Well there is a simple answer for that question. The school had made it compulsory for all year 9’s to spend 12 days there, probably because if it wasn’t compulsory, no one would go, and you will soon find out why.  

So I got a pretty good sleep the night before, and I made it to school on time ready to start that 2 weeks of pain and torture. I decided to not let that thought bother me; after all, it was only 12 days..... yeah, right. I was familiar with the food menu at the campsite so weeks before the trip, I took necessary precautions. My cousin works part time in some shop and so with her discount, I kindly asked her to purchase as much food that could fit into my suitcases. Instantly, I became a walking milk bar, and with food being my only love in life, it was my dream superpower coming true- The human food dispenser. So I walked into school wheeling my luggage, food wrappers scrunching every time I moved my legs and I boarded the bus. Once everyone had loaded their luggage and was sitting on the bus, the camp director made an announcement.

“Ok everyone, no mobile phones are allowed, if it’s serious and need to contact your parents, you can do it over my phone”

I looked around and the next five seconds when kind of like this

 *everyone whips out their phone completely ignoring the guys comment*

He should have known better. Asking a group of 15 year olds to stay off their phone for a that long is like asking someone to travel back in time through sheer will power, it just doesn’t make any sense.

So we arrive at the hell hole that I will refer to from now on as camp Nether. It’s in this deserted town no one knows about that I will refer to from now on as Blake. So about 2 days before I left for Nether, I told my aunty I would be leaving for camp soon and she asks, “Ohh that should be fun! Where is it?” and then I reply, knowing exactly how this conversation will end because its happened with everyone I mention this camping trip to,

“It’s in this place called Blake” and the chain of events goes like this.

Blank stare

Squinting eyes

Scratches face

Shakes head

“hmm, ive never heard of that place before” Yeah, you know why? Because it’s in another bloody dimension! I’ve never seen anyone travel in or out of that place, except the school bus. So I get off the bus after a one and a half hour drive and everyone is completely drained (probably because we have been travelling through dimensions) and the first thing we have to do is set up our tents. Did I mention only the teachers get cabins? So my tent group and I have selected a tent. We pull it out and we’re all thinking

“Yeah! Get a look at this bad boy!!” ok, not really, then we realise we’re a 4 person tent group plus luggage that is supposed to fit into a 2 person tent. So while I’m trying to figure out how to get out of this pickle, my tent group is sorting out the pegs to nail down the tent. I don’t know what that ground is made of, but it has to be a cross between steel and my unconditional love for food because it is unbreakable. We are all hammering these pegs into the ground while wiping the sweat of our foreheads. Then I look up and see the teachers standing around with their hands in their pockets, looking down at us and I hear one of them yell,

“Come on, it’s not so bad, suck it up!”

She’s saying this as if she is some personal trainer at a fat camp! Take it easy! It’s not like you’re the one sleeping in this tent tonight. We have to sleep in it on the dirt floor with unidentified insects crawling all over our sleeping bags and some strange noise coming from who knows where, while you get a cabin with heating! So think twice next time you open up your annoying mouth before I dish you a roundhouse kick to the throat! And after I do that, you won’t have to think twice about talking, because hopefully I’ve done enough damage to snap your vocal cords in half!

Wow, glad I got that off my chest....... anyway.......

So we finally set up our tent and we move in to what we have to live in for another 12 days. We zip up the “door” and the only thing left to do is nothing because it’s raining bullets outside. So we hear the rain up against our tents and then we realise, there’s a damn hole in the corner of our tent! As if it couldn’t get any worse. It was pouring so grabbing another tent was not an option (also all my food had moved in too and I didn’t want to get it wet) So from our tent, we call out to the heated cabin right next to us and ask for some duct tape to fix this sucker up. Trying not to step on anyone’s limbs, we all try to tape up the hole that is already letting in a fountain of water. All I can say is that we all learnt the hard way that duct tape does not stick to canvas...who knew right?

I decide to put it out of my mind, I mean, how bad can it really be right? We all got ready for dinner and made our way into the dining room, if you can call it that. We brought in some logs from outside to sit on as chairs to also make our dinner on. Dinner for the first night was make your own food using these weird ass camp stoves that looked like they had been shat on numerous times. I filled it up with water and using the methylated spirits as a heat source and started to boil the water for my beef flavoured noodles. I sat on the log and carefully prepared my noodles and then took a bight. You’re all probably thinking, “How can someone stuff up 2 minute noodles?” Believe me; never in my dreams did I think this was possible. So I’m chewing my food and I taste something gross on my lips, I feel them, nope, nothing there. Oh shit, then it hits me, somehow, I got methylated spirits on my hands and lips. At this point I’m hyperventilating and all kinds of things are running through my mind. What if I die, what if I get really sick, is this thing even poisonous? And then it hits me, Hell! Anything is better than being here! So I continue to eat my methylated spirits flavoured noodles and decide to hit the sack quite early, after all, I’ve got another 11 days to go. 

Hope you liked the first chapter. Comment about some of your bad camp experiences