12 Days Of Summer Camp

Day 3

After I woke up from my quick little nap, we were all called into the one room we use for everything. I sat down in one of the flimsy fold out chairs you would bring to a kids soccer match they provided and prepared myself for what was about to happen. One of the leaders caught our attention and was about to talk. I rolled my eyes in the way you do when you know you’re not going to take anything they say seriously. She starts to tell us about our next activity,

“Ok everyone, so because you’re staying here for 12 days, it is a part of your job and responsibility to make sure things run as smoothly as possible. I will be assigning jobs to tent groups to make sure we maintain Nether as well as possible”

Ok honey, if you want to maintain Nether as, “well as possible” The first step you might want to take is getting a bloody dishwasher, at least! Everyone is made to wash their own plates and cutlery once they’re done. They say stuff like,

“We find it easier if everyone washes their own plates instead of one group doing it for everyone”

You know what else you might find easier? Getting a machine to do it for you! This is supposed to be a summer camp; does the word hygiene mean anything to you? And on the topic of hygiene, are you really that broke to not be able to afford water for people to take a shower? I mean come on, seriously?   

So she points to my group and assigns us garden duty. What the hell? I could understand if she gives us something like mopping the floor or cleaning the kitchen, but this is just outrageous! I didn’t touch the garden, nor do I intent to, so why is it my responsibility to maintain something that I am not a contributing problem to? They’re acting like it’s a privilege to be here and we should return the favour. Yeah, ill return the favour when my ass isn’t sore from all the rocks and shit under my sleeping bag at night. She took us outside and gave us a 10 minute gardening lesson. How hard can it be? Grab it, plant it and water it. She starts talking about what do to and I am standing there with my jaw as wide as a football field. The only time my mouth is opened that wide is when I’m eating a big Mac, so this was some serious shit! We were given hole dimensions to make sure we dug the right size! I felt like I was in the movie holes because the rest of the camp had already lived up to the majority of the movie so far- Forced labour, inadequate food and drink and no showers half the time.

The leader left to get us started on our gardening. I began to dig my first hole and the dirt is rock solid. Must be the same kind as the one our tents are sitting on. I plunge the shovel into the ground and it bounces right back, hitting me in the mouth. I immediately started to move my mouth up and down to make sure it was ok.

Oh good, I can still chew my food

I felt so relieved. I tried again, being more careful this time and dug up a fair bit of dirt.

There we go, not so hard

There were plants all around me and so I didn’t know where to throw the dirt. The garden was on the edge of that section of the property so there was a bamboo fence right at the back of my garden. I had to think quickly. Suddenly, it hit me. I drew back the shovel and threw the dirt over the fence. I took care of that problem pretty quick. Until, I heard the sound of a dog bark on the other side of the fence. Oh shit. I heard the footsteps.....or paw steps of the dog coming towards me. He sat on the other side of the see through part of the fence and looked at me. I couldn’t help but notice the dirt on his fur. Oops, well at least now I know the dog is out of the way and I can continue discarding the dirt over that section of the fence.

I decided it would be easier to dig all the holes first and then plant the plants. After about 4 out of 10 holes, I got really tired and thought I should start planting some of the stuff. I carefully pulled the plant out of its box and sat it in the hole. Now I just need to fill up the hole with some dirt......... ooooh shit. Well I was screwed. All the soil was on the other side of the fence. Suddenly, all my problems were resolved. I looked around me, I was surrounded by other gardens, and where there’s a garden, there’s soil! So I walked over to some other garden, “borrowed” some soil and took it back to my garden and the problem was solved.

Although, there were still 6 other plants that needed planting and I was stuffed. There was no way I had nearly enough energy to dig another 6 holes. So instead, I took the smart way out. Some people mistake the smart way for the lazy way, but in actual fact they’re not the same thing. The lazy way of getting out of this mess, would be to dump the plants somewhere and walk away, but I am not taking the lazy way out of anything. Instead I dig one hole and stuff all 6 plants into it. I still get the credit of planting them don’t I?

So I dusted off my hands and looked at my awesome garden. Then I realised I needed to mulch the whole damn thing before I could leave. I took my wheelbarrow and walked down the dirty track in hopes to find some mulch. I don’t remember everything that happened here, but what I do remember is that I took a couple of turns and the next thing I knew, I had no idea where I was. I tried to backtrack and follow the tires of my wheelbarrow only to find the ground was so rock solid it didn’t leave any. In the distance, I heard my name being called. I called back. Two of my friends came rushing over saying everyone thinks I’m lost and there is a whole search party out looking for me. Gee, I didn’t know I was gone that long. I told them I was just going to mulch my garden and they pointed me in the right direction and I collected some mulch.

I returned back to my garden and finished it off. There, a job well done I think. A few squashed plants here, a couple of  empty holes over there (where I stole the soil from) but all picky details aside, a sexy looking garden. By this time it was dinner and after that it was time to hit the sack. I was about to leave the dining room when one of the leaders called a, “Team meeting”. Apparently she had a problem with how I decided to tend the garden. Whatever, if she wanted the garden done right she should have done it herself. She kept rambling on and on about responsibilities and then at one point I thought I heard her say something about baked potatoes but I think it’s because I was just daydreaming about them. She let me off saying I would have to redo it or something. I walked back to my tent and tried to fall asleep. Another 10 days to go.

Hope you liked this chapter. Dont forget to comment on some of your bad camp experiences.