Kona, a hula dancing, man-eating Snivy meets Joe, a teenage outcast from Unova who never even wanted a Pokemon. The two of them are swept into a chaotic journey across Kalos. Will Joe be able to match Kona's groove? Or is he doomed to dance with the...
Blood. That's all I have ever known. People fear me, and they are right to do so. I'm a monster. And why the hell should I hide it? The more people that know, the better the hunt, and the more fun I have dancing on their sorry corpses. Hula dancing has always been a passion of mine. I have no idea why but I have just always loved it. Just like how I love the taste of freshly hunted human flesh. Unfortunately, the humans have figured out that they really should avoid me. So I have to settle for a Rattata or something. Wait. Why am I thinking about all this? What was the point of this shitty exposition? Sigh. I think I might finally be losing my damn mind. Wait...what's that? I turned around and took a deep sniff. Oooh. I smell Human. It's been a while since I've had a good hunt. I can hear him from my burrow.
"...stupid Gina. Maybe I don't want a Pokemon! Why the hell does my sister have to be so damn pushy...and of course mom takes her side!" As he ranted I slipped out of my burrow and slithered over to him. He has a black hoodie with the hood pulled up, black jeans and black shoes. I suppose he really likes black for some reason. I pull on my hula skirt and show myself to do a little dance.
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Pullin' off the ole "kill 'em with cuteness" act. It never fails. "...what the hell? Why is this Snivy hula dancing?" He sighed. "Great. I come all the way to Kilude City looking for a man eating snake and I get a dancing hula girl." HULA GIRL!? WHO DOES THIS FOOL THINK HE IS!? I AM A MAN! I lower my head and hiss at him angrily, preparing to pounce when suddenly a green and black sphere hits me in the eye, sucking me in with a shadowy purple light. I could hear a muffled "I suppose this one will have to do." from outside the dusk ball. I struggled inside my spherical prison. Unfortunately, I heard the final click that permanently seals my inside the spherical tomb.
"Shit. I'm stuck with this damn clown." I muttered. I felt him lift up my ball and toss it lazily into the air, releasing me from my prison. I looked around and I saw him staring at me.
"Let's get one thing straight right now. I don't want a damn Pokemon. But my fucking mother is forcing me into getting one. So I'll let you go or whatever, but you have to be the most terrifying and threatening thing those sons of bitches have ever seen. Like, I want those assholes pissing their pants. I need you to scare my mom out of this journey bullshit. So none of that stupid dancing, got it?" He knelt down and held out his hand for what I think is called a "handshake". I bit his hand as hard as I could. He stood up, lifting me off the ground. His warm human blood trickled down my mouth and down my body as he stared into my eyes. "Ow." He said. "Listen bud. There's no way in hell you're gonna scare me. I know what you are. That's why I came here. If I have to be stuck with a Pokemon, it should be like me; an outcast." For the first time in my life, I felt like I respected a human. I grabbed his fingers with my pathetic excuses for arms and slithered up his arm and sat on his shoulder.
"I know you can't understand me, human, but my name is Kona...and to be totally honest, I like your style. I'm with ya." I said. He nodded.
"Alright Kona. My name is Joe. Now let's get going." he said as he wandered off. There was a very long moment of silence until it finally hit me.
"Hey wait a sec! You can understand me!?" I exclaimed with shock, looking at him. Joe chuckled softly.
"Yeah. I can speak to Pokemon. It's a thing that runs in the family. I guess it's a psychic thing or something like that." he explained.
"Oh. Well that's pretty convenient. Now walk faster and find me a Patrat or something! I'm fucking starving!" I ordered. Joe sighed.
"I can already tell that this was a huge fuckin mistake."
