Forbidden Love

Twenty

I was panting when i open the door. To my surprise it was Iya. I smile at her and open the door wildely for her to enter.

"Naligaw ka Iya?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng makaupo kami sa sofa.

Ngumiti sya sakin.

"Namimiss na kita." Hinawakan nya ang kamay ko at ikinulong iyon sa dalawang palad nya. "Namimiss na rin kita Iya." I smile at her.

"Talaga?" She giggle. "Oo naman."

"E di, sasama ka na sakin pauwi?"

Agad na binawi ko sa kanya ang kamay ko.

"Im sorry Iya, but there's no way im going home."

Namungay ang mga mata nya at may nakaalpas na isang butil mg luha doon. My gaze softens as i look at her.

"I hope you understand."

"Iniwan mo daw si Jett?" Nag iwas ako ng tingin sa sinabi nya. God knows how my heart breaks that morning. "He's a mess. Im sure he's suiciding put of alcohol now. Why did you do that Erin?"

Ngumiti ako. "Abogado ka na ba ngayon? You sound like one." Tumawa ako at pilit ang labas niyon.

"Why did you do that Erin?" She keep our attention to the topic. "You love him dont you? Mahal mo si Jett kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ka nagkakaganito?."

"You will never understand Iya Maine." Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa pinto. Binuksan ko iyon. "Kung pag-uusapan lang natin ang tungkol sa pamilya mo, makakaalis ka na!"

"Pamilya ko?" She stand up and face me with anger. "Pamilya mo din sila Erin. You maybe not a Young, but in your heart. Alam mong isa kang Young." Inalog alog nya ako. Tila ginigising ako sa isang panaginip.

"Ano bang nangyayari sayo?"

"Umalis ka na!" Mariing sigaw ko. Pabagsak nyang isinara ang pinto. "You're so selfish Erin!"

"Im dying Iya!" Sigaw ko kasabay ng pagtakas ng luha sa mga mata ko. "I think i have the right to be selfish!"

Napaupo sya sa sofa na para bang nanghihina.

"I shoo him away because i love him that much." I sob. "Im dying Iya.."

"Nagsisinungaling ka!" She said in between sobs. Umiling ako. I wish i was lying.

"Lukemia. Stage one." I wipe my tears and calm my senses. "I was diagnose two years ago." I sit beisde her and tell the story. "I refuse to have chemo because it will consume my energy. Manghihina lang ako. So i just live my life to the fullest. Wala na akong balak bumalik sa inyo. But Jett found me."

"Alam ba ni Jett Erin?" Tanong nya. Umiling ako "i love him so much. So much that i could hide all of the things that could hurt him. Ayaw kong makita syang umaasa sa wala. Ayaw kong matali sya sa pag aalaga sakin. He deserve to be with someone who can make him happy. It's not me Iya." I cry. Ang sakit sakit. Iisipin ko pa lang na magmamahal sya ng iba ay para na akong pinapatay. Pero kailangan ko syang palayain.

"You should have told him, Erin."

"May magbabago ba?" I shook my head. "Wala. Im dying and i would leave him soon. What's the point of staying by his side?."

"He need to know!" She scream.

"No." Umiling ako. "I dont want to see him hurting Iya. Because if i do? Sana ay pinatay nyo na lang ako. Please dont tell him."

Alam kong hindi sya papayag but at least she respect my decision.

I take her outside my appartment.

"I will check on you always." She said. I smile, "iloveyou." I told him. She hug me tight. I felt her tears in my shoulder. She's crying.

Napahigpit din ang yakap ko sa kanya ng manghina na naman ako. "Erin.." the next thing i knew, everything went black.

Nagising ako sa puting silid. Ikinurap ko ang mga mata ko para matanggal ang panlalabo niyon. Then when it was'nt blurry anymore. I see my whole family, smilling intently at me.

Gumapang ang kakaibang takot sakin ng makita ko sila. Particularly si Iya. She was leaning at the door and mouthed sorry then leave.

My tears cascade but it was wipe by someone.

"Jett.." i said but no words come out.

He kiss the back of my hand and smile at me.

"How are you feeling my love?" He ask.

Umiling ako. I clear my throat to find my voice and speak up.

"What are you dping here?"

"You should have told me Erin." His tears cascade. And every drop of it means death for me. Ito ang kinakatakutan ko.

"Iya.." i call my sister. "You promise me you wont tell everyone." I cried.

My mom step towards me and hug me tight.

"You should have told us anak.." she cried. Next to him is dad. I crie even more. This is even worse. To see them all crying for me. It's breaking me.

"Im sorry Erin.." dad cry. Tumango ako at tinugon ang yakap ni mommy. I extended my free hand to motion dad to join the hug. I miss my family.

Nakakwentuhan ko ang ilang pinsan ko bago umuwi ang mga ito at maiwan si Jett na nagbabantay sakin.

"You should rest.." i whisper.

He did'nt let go of my hand. "Im okay."

""This is why i dont want you to know. You we're sad." I carres his face.

"You dont mean what you said the last time we talk. Are you?"

Umiling ako. "I just want to shoo you."

His tears cascade. "Im glad."

"I was mad when i knew that i lost our child." Pag-amin ko. "But when i came back and knew how much you love me? It melted."

"Everything will be alright now." Ikinulong nya ang kamay ko sa mga palad nya. Napilitan akong ngumiti kahit pa alam kong masasaktan ko na naman sya.

"Sure i come back.." i cry "too bad, i cant stay long." I carres his face that i love to stare at. "I have to stay goodbye."

"Shh.. dont say that." He kiss me in my lip. "I will never let you go now." He kiss the back of my hand. "You fight, i fight right?" Tumango ako. My heart is breaking at the scene. Umaasa sya sa bagay na hindi ko maibibigay. "Just hold my hand and never let go