The so-called 'Elevator Pitch' is a classic marketing technique: Imagine you are sharing an elevator with an editor from a famous publishing house. You have three floors to 'sell your story' ... . This book features the pitches of a number of great...
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There he is!
I gulp my fifth Energy drink of the day. It's only eight in the morning. Across the lobby, moving to the elevator, I see the man capable of authors into stars. This is my chance. I HAVE to go for it.
[Elevator door closes]
"Do you know why you should read NURSE McSEXY?" I ask.
The man raises his eyes to the roof of the elevator cabin. "Oh my God. Not another one."
"Not another one at ALL. A human interest story, yes. But a special one."
He groans. "Fine, tell me. But I'll get out on the third, so you better be quick."
I push the emergency stop. A claxon howls through the building.
"What the...?"
"Listen to me," I say. "They'll get us out soon enough. So just listen to my story. Might keep your mind off this tiny cabin."I read somehwere, he suffers from mild claustrophobia. Am I evil or what?
"Have you ever been caught half-naked in an examination room, worrying about all the terrible things that could happen while you're sitting on a table wearing nothing more than a flimsy gown, that gapes open at the back?"
He recoils. He glances at the walls of the cabin. 'No."
"Well," I continue. "NURSE McSEXY is a humorously enhanced true story about an allergic reaction, Urgent Care and an extremely handsome male nurse. It's MY true story. The story of one evening where I facedmy greatest fears, went through the full whack of humiliation only modern medicine can dish out to you- and found myself on the other side."
His eyes are darting from left to right.
"You might find it useful," I add. "And hilarious."
"Hilarious and morals? You must be joking," the man says.
"Yes," I confirm. "Chance are, good people will discover a a lot about themselves when they have finished the story. Only good things of course.'
With a jerk, the cabin starts moving again.
The man hands me his business card. "Send me the manuscript. Just make sure to stay out of my elevator next time! "
"I will!"
As soon as he's read my novel, I won't need elevators any more!
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