Friends after all - Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 22

"Wh-what?" Dean blinked, all appetite suddenly gone.

Sam laughed shyly, looking down "I mean I may be moving a little fast but- but I feel happy you know? Like really happy for the first time in... ever actually! A-and (Y/n)- I mean we're ok, more than ok and we-"

"Are thinking of staying together?" Dean breathed out, trying to hide his disbelief.

"Well we've been inseparable for the past month, I don't think it would make much of a difference anyway." Sam shrugged and Dean had a hard time keeping his frown off his face.

"Aren't you- I mean man, not to sound like I- like a cockblock but-" Dean breathed out a laugh "Aren't you moving a little fast?"

"We- I don't know Dean." he let a soft sigh "It's just- we clicked. From the first moment."

"That I very much realized." Dean couldn't help the bitterness in his voice.

"And she- she seems happy Dean. I haven't seen her smile like that in all this time of knowing her." he said with a small smile.

"Yeah" Dean said in a hoarse voice, his eyes casted down.

To this he agreed more than anything. Being with smile- that brought you pure happiness. In all those years he'd known you he had never seen you smile the way you did with Sam this month. He made you happy, for real, and you did the same for him. He hated himself for this but it was so very true.

"I mean- we haven't, you know, talked about it a lot but- she looks happy, Dean. For real." Sam breathed out and smiled at his brother, and so did Dean.

"Yeah I could see that." he nodded his head, looking down in silence for longer than needed before he finally spoke up "You know-" he swallowed thickly "You're right Sam" he dared to look up at his brother in the eyes "You're right. If youtwo- are happy this way then who am I to ruin this huh?" he felt his throat closing but tried to hold himself together and not let it show.

"Dean" Sam shook his head "Don't say this. You're my brother and her best friend. You know you are important. Just like how your opinion matters to me."

"Yeah but it's your life. And hers. It doesn't matter what I think or say." he shrugged. The words hurt like daggers now that he dared say them out loud. Saying it meant admitting it. And admitting it meant it was real. That it was happening.

"Dean" Sam shot his brother a look "Don't you dare say this again, you hear me?"

"No chick flicks ok Sammy?" Dean made a face and shook his head. HE was trying to play this off on the outside but on the inside- oh that was a mess.

"Yeah no chick flicks but Dean- you always try to change the subject when it comes to this and I honestly can't get it now. Is there something you have to say?" Sam frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. Somehow he felt something wasn't right.

"Like what?" Dean was taken aback for a second.

"I don't know, Dean. Anything! You- you always try to avoid this every time I bring it up. And you never gave me a goodreason why you- you pushed her away in the very first place!" Sam couldn't help but raise his voice. He's had enough with his brother. He had let it slip that he'd hurt you the way he did and not asked any further, just for your sake, but right nowhe needed answers.

"That's not important anymore Sam and you know it. But if you want to know- I was pissed off ok? I was just- pissed off. Nothing more, nothing less. You can't control yourself when you're angry a-and I had so many problems with Mary at that point that I just-"

"Took it out on her?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah" Dean breathed out, looking down in shame.

"And you expect me to believe this? Dean you're talking to me." Sam emphasized, not believing a single thing. He knew his brother all too well.