"So yeah, that's kind of how that whole joke started and it just escalated from there. Actually, does anyone here know Alfie? PointlessBlog?" you ask and receive loud cheers which make you smile. "Oh great. If you don't know him, you should— he's hilarious. Anyway, if you know Alfie, you know he has this kind of.. I don't know.. impish disposition." you continue, receiving cackles from the Alfie fans in the crowd. "And he caught wind of this whole thing during another conference we were at earlier in the year, so for like three days straight every time he saw me he'd shout at the top of his lungs, 'SEVENTY SEVEN!!'" you retell, your imitation of his yell garnering raucous laughter.
"Was it embarrassing?" another youtuber from the panel looks down the table and asks, chuckling.
"It was more alarming than anything else!" you answer dramatically as the crowd continues to giggle and chortle along. You make a few more silly comments about it between the other youtubers before the moderator regains order and focuses the crowd's attention back in.
"Are you good for one more question?" he asks, looking at you.
"Yeah yeah, of course." You reply and smile.
"Alright, go for it." He nods at the fan with the microphone.
"I was just wondering.. are we going to meet your mystery boyfriend soon?" she asks, a shy grin busting on to her face at the reaction of the crowd. You laugh, enjoying the excitement and mystery.
"I'm going to shock a lot of people here with my answer, but yes, actually." The crowd has a mix of emotions that together form a mass of loud chaos—gasps, laughter, cheers, shouted questions, peaked interest. "No, I'm not going to tell you when, yes, he's handsome, no, we're not going to make out on camera." You laugh, answering some of the loudest inquiries. "You'll just have to wait and see." You grin cheekily, your eyes twinkling.
After posing for pictures for a few minutes with the other panelists, you all wave one last time and are ushered off the stage and out the side door of the room. You make small talk with the other youtubers for a minute before telling them that you're going to go rest at the hotel for a bit before the party tonight. You make it back to the hotel fairly quickly, only having to stop for a few pictures and autographs here and there. You feel a little weird about it, honestly, because though people recognize you in public fairly frequently, it's not a constant occurrence. But at VidCon it seems like everyone knows who you are and wants to meet you. It's not a bad thing—you rather enjoy it, actually—it's just different.
You slide your key in and out of the slot quickly, waiting for the beep of the green light on the door. As you walk in, you pull your hair down from its place on top of your head, using the other to loosen the laces on your shoes. You glance up when you notice the TV's on and just as you do Niall appears in the little hallway.
"Hey, babe!" he grins and keeps moving towards you.
"Niall!" you chirp excitedly, quickly finishing your escape from your shoes. He waits just long enough for you to straighten back up before he descends on you with a huge hug, bending down to slide his arms under yours.
"I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow!" you bubble, your arms cinching around his neck for a moment before loosening so you can look him in the eye again. He gives a slight shrug with one of his shoulders, still grinning.
"We got done a day early." He responds and doesn't waste a moment before pressing his lips against yours. You smile into his lips before kissing him back, making a chuckle form deep in his throat. After a moment he pulls back, keeping his forehead to yours.
"I've missed you." He half whispers.
"Good." You reply, your hands gently curved around the back of his head, and give a small grin when he laughs.
"You're crazy." He grins again, giving you one more small peck before leading you into the hotel room, his arm securely wrapped around your side.
"How was today?" he asks, moving a few pillows aside to make room for the both of you on the couch.
"It was good. Busy, but fun." You smile.
"I watched the livestream of the panel." He tells you while he situates himself on the couch, motioning for you to follow.
"Oh yeah, what'd you think?" you ask, laughter already in your eyes.
"You were hilarious!" he cackles and you laugh back, leaning in to his chest as he fastens his arms around you again.
"The fans are sooo excited to find out who you are." You relay to him, rolling your eyes just a bit for dramatic effect.
"Not as excited as I am to finally tell them. I hate secrets." He responds, muttering the last part.
"I know, I just don't want it to be weird." You say, turning your head so you can see his face. "I like my fanbase. Yeah, it's not huge, but.. I don't know. I don't want to be famous just because I'm with you. I want people to like my stuff because it's my stuff. Not because it's Niall Horan's girlfriend's stuff."
He nods in understanding, and gives you a sympathetic look. "I know, babe, but I'm kind of excited because I think you're underappreciated. Like, that many more people will get to enjoy how great you are. And you've already proven you're popular without 'my help'—" he says with air quotation marks, "So it's not like you're using my fame. It's just sort of.. an added bonus." He finishes, smiling. You can't help but smile back, enjoying being able to watch his facial expressions without the aid of an electronic device.
"I know, I just.. I'm not sure I'm ready for that added benefit." You respond, imitating his air quotes. "It's a lot of pressure." You glance down and fiddle with his fingers, unsure again about how you feel. You'd both decided VidCon would be the perfect place to publically announce your relationship, but now that he's here and the moment's so close you're having second thoughts. Or, really, five hundredth thoughts. Niall knows every possible reason why it's a bad idea to go public, because you've told him every one of them at least seven times. It seems every time you talk you're back to square one and he has to convince you that it's the best option for the both of you. "We can't go on secretly forever. Sooner or later they're going to find out. I want it to be on our terms." He always reminds you and you sigh and agree, knowing he's right. And he knows you know, because he's given you that same answer all five hundred times you've second guessed. So, instead of saying it again, he merely tightens his grip around you and sighs heavily.
"It's going to work out." He simply states. "It's going to be crazy and chaotic and wild at first, but it will work out. They'll calm down after a while."
"I know." You speak more quietly, absentmindedly running your finger in circles on his forearm. "I'm just nervous. No one is expecting, well.. you." You say and turn your face to see him again. He kisses your temple.
"Just think how fun it's going to be to see all of their faces. They're going to be shocked." He grins.
"I'm definitely going to have to vlog it. If I don't die from nerves first." You smile and lean your head back on his shoulder, trying to imagine what it'll be like when you introduce him the next day. You have a whole monologue planned out to build the suspense.
Niall begins reminding you of all the things you'll be able to do when your relationship is finally public—be seen together, go out to dinner, visit him on tour—but, you're not listening because you're still stuck imagining the moment when you'll reveal your secret boyfriend, the one you've been mentioning on your channel for months. Amazed at how into this "mystery man" your fans have gotten, you know they'll be thrilled to finally know his identity, and shocked to realize he's a world famous pop star. There'll be countless questions and dizzying interviews and deafening screaming, and while it all seems extremely overwhelming, as you feel Niall's hand gently slide up and down your arm as he softly chatters on about how great everything is going to be, you realize that one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe years from now, it'll all be worth it. You'll look back and be glad you've made this decision, regardless of the immediate outcome. Because no matter what, he's worth it. He's worth every single little bit of it.
