Flames

four

Even though I had instantaneously regretted breaking up with Louis, it took me a whole week to realize that I wanted to find a way to get him back.

But then again, I was reluctant on the fact that the whole reason why I had even broken up with him in the first place was because I knew that I wasn't deserving of his love and compassion. Plus, the idea of bringing him into my deppressed life kept playing in my head, telling me that he shouldn't be in it, especially not after everything that he had gone through just a couple months before.

When I first met Louis, he was in fact, fighting fictitious demons, just like some were beginning to build inside me too.

Except his demons were more developed and completely consumed him for a while, taking him into a different mental world where he couldn't think of another solution other than to end his life.

After his father died in a car accident, his mother dealt with the pain by meeting with men and having countless affairs while Louis dealt with the situation by becoming violent and experimenting with drugs, eventually leading him into depression. Sooner or later, he began to feel defeated and his only thoughts consisted of ways on how he would end it all.

The reason I hadn't met Louis until five weeks after I arrived in town was solemnly because he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing with pills, and thankfully he was found before they could really do take him away.

He stayed in the psych ward for a length of time, dealing with his problems while I figuratively waited for him to come into my life.

Now that I had pushed him away from me, I couldn't help but feel torn on what I should do about our relationship.

For one part, I wanted to stay with him so we could deal with my issues together, just like he had once promised he would do. But on the other hand, I didn't want him to have any more problems, I wanted him to be happy and to never think about leaving this world, because couple or not, I wanted him here. Earth deserved a beautiful and wonderful person as Louis, and people deserved to know how amazing he was.

For the entire period of our relationship he was always so positive in everything, giving me courage to forget about my problems at home and solemnly focus on his affection and love. There were no worries when he was around and I felt completely and utterly happy.

That next Monday after our breakup, I arrived to school with a large amount of nerves surging through my body, for I had thought about everything that I could say to Louis so he could forgive me and possibly make him want to come back to me.

I thought about telling him the truth at first, but that quickly faded from my mind when I came to the realization that my whole reason for breaking up with him was so he wouldn't be stuck with helping me solve my problems. So instead, I made up a list of lies that could be told as to explain for the way I had acted the week before.

I stayed by my locker when I got there, waiting to see if he would walk through the front doors like usual, but when the bell for first period rang, there was no sign of him anywhere.

By the time it got to lunch, I was already impatient and worried about him. He hadn't showed up for the first classes we had together and I was genuinely nervous about his whereabouts.

As I sat on our usual lunch table, I looked around the room countless times, searching for his face. I didn't find him, so instead, I stood up from my seat, threw away my uneaten lunch and headed out the cafeteria doors.

I wasn't sure where I was going, but I just wanted to be certain that he wasn't here; yet something told me he was.

Sure enough, as I rounded the corner of one of the halls, I caught Louis' figure. He was leaning on one of the lockers, his back facing toward me.

Just then my mind began to overfill with thoughts and processed what I was about to say, but as I stepped closer to him, I couldn't help but stop midway.

There was a girl right in front of him, and one of her hands twirled around a strand of her hair whilst the other touched the middle of Louis' chest.

They were both laughing, the sound echoed throughout the hall, filling my heart with jealousy, for I wished I were the one making him laugh like that.

It didn't take long for the girl to see me too, her eyes furrowing as she probably realized who I was.

Louis saw her looking behind him and he too turned to se what it was she was so focused on.

When our eyes met, I gasped. My body felt numb and cold from the malicious stare he was giving me, like he wanted to throw me off a cliff and have a laugh after. 

Just then the girl leaned over and whispered something in his ear, making Louis let out a chuckle.

We kept eye contact for another second, just until I shifted my gaze to see Louis grab a hold of her hand and start to lead her away toward the opposite direction, but not before I heard a word being whispered through the hall. A word that made my breath hitch and my hearth ache.

"Pathetic"

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this is unedited and short i'm sorry i'll try and make it longer next time