Flames

twelve

Immediately following the game, we proceeded to go back to our seats, except Louis and I did no participate in anything else. We mostly stayed seated - glad to have people in front of us so they covered us whenever they stood up, also making it easier to be ‘invisible’. I figured most students were still wondering what the heck that whole game between Louis and I was, but on the other side, I was hoping that they would shrug it off as another weird encounter between us.

Every once in a while I wanted to sneak a peak towards Zayn, but I was still embarrassed about the whole ordeal, so I kept the urge in, keeping my eyes fixed on my shoes, and only my shoes.

I was also still fighting the minor urge to cry that had suddenly crept up my body. I didn’t know where it came from, but it was creating a pain in my throat that I pushed as far back as I could. Then again, sometimes crying is the only way to let emotions out, except this time I couldn’t oblige due to the hundreds of students surrounding us, not to mention that Louis, of all people, was sitting right next to me.

Instead, right when the bell for the assembly to end and lunch to start, rang, I booked it out of the room, pushing through the massive amount of people until I finally squeezed through the doors and to a partially deserted part of the school.

I contemplated between spending some time alone in one of the less occupied bathrooms, but after having a very unexpected guest find me in one of those, I retracted that decision and settled for an empty art classroom that I knew would not be occupied considering art classes did not take place that day.

I grabbed an empty seat near the window and settled myself in it, letting my forehead rest between my crossed arms and letting the awaiting tears to start falling down my cheeks.

I didn’t really know why I was crying, except I knew it had to be about deep feelings I’ve kept suppressed for a while, and crying was all I had right now.

“Sam,” a male voice that I knew like the palm of my hand suddenly spoke from the door, and like a bullet shot from a gun, I looked to the source, only to hold my breath once it clicked in my mind who I was looking at.

Louis stood there with his hands in fists, chest puffed and glaring eyes, except the hard demeanor he held fell once we locked eyes, and a sudden thickness of air built around us.

“You’re crying?” He asked, and my eyes widened, so I rubbed them with both hands and shook my head.

It was like my worst fear coming true with him seeing me cry, so I quickly brushed the tears off and said the first thing that came to mind.

“No…” *cough* “no, just a…” *cough* “bad cough.”

“You’re a shitty liar, Sam.”

“I’m not lying it’s just what happens when you accidentally swallow your own spit,” I retort. We both knew I was not the best at saying or going through with lies, but I was desperate enough to hide the fact that I was crying because of my feelings, especially when some of those feelings revolved around Louis.

*cough*

“You really think I’m going to believe you? Just tell me the real reason why you’re crying,” Louis pushed. I shrunk more in my seat as he took a step closer towards my direction and grabbed a desk, moving it so it was placed right in front of door. Ever so slowly he sat down on it, blocking me from getting through and leaving the room.

“What are you doing?”

“Since you won’t tell me the reason why you’re crying, we’re going to stay in here until you do,” he smirked.

For a moment I considered yelling at him to move and then proceed to either hit him in the face with a book or knee him on the crotch, but I went with neither of those choices and instead rolled my eyes at him, which only degraded my demeaning attitude that I was trying to portray. 

“Can we not do this right now?” I finally said after a couple minutes of pure silence.

And just like that, my tears had died, and I blamed Louis for that, or rather thanked him for it.

It was a bit confusing, and weird - mostly weird.        

“Do what?” he questioned.

“This,” I flicked my finger between him and I, “this stupid thing, when we both know you don’t care enough to actually ask or be concerned as to why I’m crying. I don’t want to fight right now, so please, just today, leave me alone.”

“I never mentioned or did anything to make you think that I wanted to fight, did I?”

I guess he was right with that, he did actually look perturbed as to why I was crying, but although it looked sincere, it didn’t sound that way.

“Then what do you want?”

“I really just want to know the reason why you were crying, and if you can tell me that, we can both leave,” Louis leaned backwards in his chair and settled both his legs in a crossed position.

“You are the last person I would tell,” I truthfully stated. He had no right to ask me such question when he was basically the only person that has caused me any kind of trouble or bother while in school. Except my father of course, but that was home and school was another story.

Louis sighed and got up from his seat, but just as I thought he would give up and open the door, he started walking forward and took a seat on the desk right behind me. I shifted my body to the side and curiously looked at him, waiting for his next move.

It felt like such a long time since we had been this close without fighting, and for some weird reason, I didn’t feel like I needed to find a comeback or insult to bring up incase he started annoying me.

It was nice.

“Just, tell me okay, I just need to know.” His eyes looked so blue from this close up, and the way his eyebrows creased with concern made me want to lean over and smooth them with my fingers, yet it physically hurt knowing that I could not do that, and that I would probably never get to.

I wanted to tell him, I really wanted to just pour everything out and ask for forgiveness for ever leaving him, to plea that he take me back and we could forget our fights and insults ever existed, to just be together again.

 But the words were stuck so deep inside - I feared they would never be able to leave my mouth.  

A/N:

First, I want you all to know that I was gone for so long because I had 7 exams in two months and that was my main focus, plus I got a job.

Secondly, please don't complain about taking long to update. Once again, I'm busy, and it kills my mood to see those comments.