Flames

hello

It's been a while. I don't know if I even have readers anymore but I've finally picked up the courage to come here again and try to explain my absence. I know some of you are asking how I've been doing and mostly wonder if I'll ever finish flames. Well, I'm doing good, although there's been a lot of personal things that have happened since I last left wattpad, some of which I could never talk about publicly but one update I can proudly say is that my mom has been cancer free for three years now! ! I know a lot fo you asked about her and I thank you with all my heart for your concerns.

Now for Flames. Well, here's the deal. I started writing this story when I was a junior/senior in high school. I had a lot of free time back then and was a huge directioner with a passion to write, thus this story was created. 

Many years have passed since then, I've graduated university and now I have a job and responsibilities and I'm trying to live as an adult. it's hard. 

The things with Flames is.. I think I've outgrown the story in so many ways. Like I said, I started this story when I was 18 and didn't know much, if anything, about relationships and love. I simply created stories with topics that seemed to be popular in wattpad at that time. In all honesty, I was creating a story that I thought would have a lot of readers not a story with content I personally connected with or knew anything about. This story, in my opinion, contains unhealthy relationships and mental issues, not only with the main lead characters but with family as well, and it makes me cringe when I read it because I know absolutely NOTHING about those issues/topics. I simply created a scenario of what I thought those relationships where/could be and as I grew older and began dating and connecting more with my family and learning about myself and others, it felt weird having to write those things that I knew very little about apart from what I saw and learned from shows and movies and other stories. 

Another issue that kept me from continuing this story wholeheartedly was the fact that as I discovered more artists and my music preferences broadened, I wasn't a huge directioner anymore. I still have a lot of admiration for 1D as soloists and will always wish them the best, and if they ever came back I would give it a listen but truthfully, I do not follow up with their personal lives and really only listen to some of their stuff if it comes on the radio. It created an issue when I would write for this story because the connection I had with them felt distant, and I felt like I was just using their names for clout rather than feeling a personal connection with the characters.  It felt forced. Like I was forcing myself to continue because so many of you liked it and I thought I needed to continue for that same reason. Even now as an ARMY, I can't bring myself to read any fan fiction regarding the boys or any celebrity for that matter because I don't like the idea of reading something about them that is not what their true nature and personalties are like. But that's just a personal preference of mine. 

I still have a very sentimental connection with this story, and if I could do it again there is a lot of things I would fix or change, but I know many of you enjoy reading it which is why I just left it as is, but if I'm truly honest, I don't think I could just pick up where I left off and continue to write something I do not feel passionate about. I'm really sorry for all the readers that have stuck with me throughout the years waiting for an update and to those who might have seen this 'update' and thought the story would continue but got this instead. 

For now, I am leaving the story as it. I will be coming to wattpad from time to time, and who knows maybe I'll start writing again once my life settles.

Again, THANK YOU for reading my story. I'm truly sorry for the unfinished end but I hope you understand my reasoning. I hope you're all doing amazing, I wish you the best in life and maybe I will see you soon. 

All the love, 

worthlivingfor