Flames

five

Before anyone gets confused, this chapter switches to the present now… 

The first class of the day was the best and worst class. I loved learning French because I found it truly beautiful and really interesting, but I hated the fact that Louis sat beside me for an entire hour.

He was constantly messing with me, and he never shut up as he tried to insult me. Usually I would ignore him and try to pay attention to what our instructor was saying, but it was hard when he was constantly saying things that made me incredibly mad and upset.

Plus, I never wanted for him to think that any of his words affected me in any way, so I would fight back with as much as I could as I also tried to do my work, but it felt like it just never worked.

And it’s not like I didn’t try to switch seats, because I did. It just happened that Tomlinson and Thompson were right next to each other on the roster, and seats were chosen by alphabetical order.

There was also the small fact that Madame Webber was quite strict and she refused to do me the kind favor of separating Louis and I.

Yet it was like no other day, and as soon as I sat on my seat, Louis walked in a moment later and sat right beside me.

I let out a grunt at what I knew would be a long fifty minutes of class, merely because I was also already anticipating harsh words coming from Louis.

Sure enough, as soon as he settled on his seat, he turned to me with a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

“Bonjour Sam, vous êtes une imbécile,” He said with very bad pronunciation.

I rolled my eyes at his comment, wiggling my chair as far away as the table allowed.

“Is that all you got? Telling me I’m an idiot in French?” I chuckled at his poor try of an insult and turned back to the board. Other days, even if that was a childish try to get on my nerves, I would have gone along with it, telling him something in return, using French as he did, but like this morning, I hadn’t been feeling up for it. I was starting to feel drained of having to find ways to insult him and I felt like the demons I’ve been trying to keep suppressed for a year were surfacing little by little each passing day.

For a whole year we’ve been giving each other emotional abuse and we’ve been picking at the things that make us hurt the most.

After that Monday when I tried to talk to Louis, it was like a switch was turned on in Louis’ attitude toward me, and the hatred began.

At first I was completely baffled as to how he could go from being this loving boyfriend who told me he ‘loved me’ every time he was with me, then suddenly he was telling me how worthless I was.

It was hard, very hard to understand why he was being the way he was, and I soon began to start consuming myself in the idea that he was right, but soon, something clicked inside me too.

Two week after he began to be cold towards me, it clicked in my mind about how I should act too.

I was still confused about everything, but after having dealt with the harsh words and resentful attitude from Louis, I had enough.

That’s when it all came downhill.

What began as words, turned into actions and soon enough, it was called the norm.

Now as I sat next to him in class, all that we’ve been through for the past couple of years had began to wear me down.

I didn’t know why I wasn’t fighting him back like usual, all I knew was that I felt physically and mentally tired of it all. I didn’t want to fight him back, I just wanted to sit there and take it, which is essentially exactly what I was doing.