Oneshots.

catcalling (starbucks)

"excuse me? I'm straight as a board!"

"no you're not."

(nonmagic, most marauders included and LOTS of gifs)

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It had been a loooong day at the office. James was completely exhausted, and he was hardly up for the walk back to his flat, even though it was short. He kicked the gravel at his feet, muttering under his breath. Albus had kept them well into overtime, again, for the forth bloody night in a row. It was just an internship, but at this rate it was going to kill him. His eyelids were drooping as his feet hit the ground, his long legs striding down the busy streets of London.

That was when he heard it.

A loud voice filled with laughter, a voice James wouldn't be able to get out of his head for a long time.

"Oy! Nice arse! Are your legs as useful as they look?"

James whipped around, confusion and shock etched across his face. Who in Merlin's bloody great tit had the actual nerve to speak to him like that?

The boy, yes, boy, was cackling at James, but then stopped quickly when he saw the look on the brunette's face. His laugh morphed into a mischievious smirk. The boy's smile was lopsided, and his hair was long and black, messily falling into his eyes - eyes that were so dark they could've easily been black, and his very posture seemed to scream "fuck me behind an alley."

"Pardon?" James almost doubled over. It wasn't like he was deliacte when it came to this type of conversation, in fact, he was about as blunt as it got when it came to sex. But this was no ordinary situation. A boy, an actual boy was hitting on him in the middle of the bloody street. AT MIDNIGHT.

"I'm as straight as a board!" James sniffed indignantly, feeling rather uncomfortable. He was blushing like a sodding virgin, for Godric's sake!

The boy's high-pitched laugh filled his ears, "No you're not!"

James squinted his eyes in distaste, and opened his mouth to say something else. Before he could do something, however, a realization hit him. He knew exactly who that boy was. He'd been in the papers every other day for fighting, stealing, anything you could think of really.

Sirius Black - the biggest trouble-maker in all of London for his age. You could see it from the glint in his eyes that he was dangerous, and Merlin knew what he was picking at James for.

"Yes I am!" James shouted, sputtering with embaressment, he really didn't want anyone around to hear. "In fact, I have a girlfriend," He smirked proudly, puffing out his chest. He didn't really know why he was saying all this to some stranger, but honestly he was kind of offended. Did he look gay? Maybe he has been putting too much product in his hair lately, but that was beside the point.

"Who, Evans? Yeah, have fun with your trophy, Potter. And when you realize you're not into her, come find me, yeah?"

James scoffed, "Piss off." He turned around and continued to walk home, but stopped himself when he realized something was out of place, "Hang on, how the hell do you know my name?" James turned around to grill the boy, but he was gone.

Sodding prick, thinking he knew a thing about James.

He rolled his eyes and kept walking, but he couldn't get that boy out of his head for the rest of the night.

Besides, what did he care about what some criminal thought of him? He knew he wasn't gay, right? I mean, yeah sure, he stared at Remus's arse sometimes (frankly, it was very nice, who wouldn't?), but that was just... Normal. A friendly thing to do.